Toad Poetry

…it won’t give you warts

We got home from CatCon2 an hour ago. The Magic Bus is in storage. The dogs are asleep and the wife is nodding off. It is good to be home.

Destination Sign reading when we entered California: The Cobalt Club

Destination Sign reading when we got home: Somewhere Over The Rainbow

The 31 Things You Should Never Say To An Astronaut

…#1 is “that moon landin’ was fake, right?”

Return From CatCon2: Road Report

(NOTE: The following is all fictional.)

My oh my, is it ever refreshing and stress free to snooze in a comfy bed while your artificially intelligent bus drives like a bat outta hell down the interstate. Right now, I’m drinking my tea and writing this about 20 minutes before we are scheduled to stop for a doggie walk and some gas. Grace is still snoozing.

After the stop, I’ll take over driving and Data can just scan for cops. Our newly revised schedule has is rolling into Sacramento about 10:30 tonight. WooHoo!

Destination Sign reading when I woke up: Cimmeria

Destination Sign reading now: Stately Wayne Manor

Doing The Hot Spider Boogie

…but not with a hot spider

CatCon2: Day 4, The Wrap Up

(NOTE: The following is all fictional.)

Another con is in the bag. Today, aside from the “I Hate…” seminar/bitchfest, I wandered the Dealer’s Room, played a few board games, walked The Girls, took Sharon to the airport and generally just relaxed. Grace played in a “Bohnanza” tournament and then played life sized “Kill Dr. Lucky”. We ate a spendid brunch at a place called “Chez Mom’s” and later ate about a trillion calories worth of pie at the “Post Con Cool Down Party”.

We checked out of the hotel this morning so that we could hit the road right after the piefest, which ended at 7:00 pm, Texas time. By 7:30, we were leaving Wilted Springs in our dust. We’ll head up to Amarillo and then shoot home via New Mexico, Arizona and Interstate 5 up the middle of California. We will be going straight thru, minus stops for gas, food and doggie bathroom breaks. In fact, we’ll only stop for food maybe once or twice, since we have lotsa grub on board.

But I won’t be driving all the way…because we have an auto pilot.

Yep, when I had the Magic Bus tricked out, I went for the very latest bleeding edge auto pilot setup I could get. We call him Data and even as I type this he is shooting us down the highway at 75 miles an hour. Later, he’ll bump it up to 90, since he can detect cops up to 25 miles away. Driving almost non-stop, we hope to be home around 11:00 pm, Monday night.

Next year, I hope to be at GenCon, if the economy improves and I can rob a bank or two. But for now, CatCon2 was a blast and if I end up going to DogCon3 next year, well, I won’t mind a bit.

Destination Sign reading when we left Wilted Springs: Down The Rabbit Hole

Destination Sign reading right now: Fortress of Solitude

A Tamandua In The Kitchen

…climbing around, looking for termites

CatCon2: Day 3, Part Two

(NOTE: The following is all fictional.)

Ok, let me just say that putting on an old time radio program (in this case, Adventure Gaming Theater) is pretty fucking cool…and more than a bit nerve wracking and funny. There were 10 of us in the studio, including the two sound guys and our female announcer. I played multiple bit parts, including Officer O’Malley, Jerry the Game Store Guy and Mudflaps, the Bloodhound. Grace played Mrs. Andrews and Yolanda the Telephone Operator. People all over the con, and indeed, all over town, heard it. I could do it again.

My two games were both only 2 hours long. One was an AD&D town adventure and the other was a Basic Role playing steampunk bank robbery caper. Both went very well.

In a few minutes, I’ll be judging a “sexy gamer” beauty pageant. The twist? Guys are judging guys and chicks are judging chicks. 7 judges for each. Yes, there is a swimsuit competition…FOR GAMING GUYS! I’m a bit afraid of that one.

In other news, I’m told that my girl Lucy took third place in a mechanical rabbit chase held in a maze. Go Lucy!

More bloggage tomorrow.

Sardine Smoothies For Everyone!

…well, they’re popular with dolphins

CatCon2: Day 3, Part One

(NOTE: The following is all fictional.)

Yesterday was hectic and fun. Highlights include…

The Toon game in which all 10 players were spies working for different agencies and trying to stop Ernst Stavros Bullfrog.

Winker and Daisy appearing as, respectively, Mad Eye Moondog and Minerva MacMastiff in the pretty hilarious canine LARP.

The Round Robin GMs only fantasy game. I’ll write more later.

Must run now. Doing two games, then rehearsal for the radio show, then judging a “Sexy Gamer” pageant.

More stuff later.

…And Then They All Ate Fish!

…pity I can’t remember the rest of the joke

CatCon2: Day 2, Part One

(NOTE: The following is all fictional.)

The Cross Family Con Schedule For Today…

9:00 – 10:00 am: Great RPG Settings seminar
10:00 – Noon: GMing a Toon session “The Spy Who Boggled Me”
Noon – 3:00 pm: Lunch & Dealer’s Room cruising
3:00 – 5:00 pm: Watching the all dog LARP “Hairy Pupper and the Deathly Howls”
5:00 – 6:00 pm: Open, probably in Dealer’s Room
6:00 – 7:00: Dinner
7:00 – Midnight: A Round Robin GMs Only Dungeon Crawl session
After Midnight: We gonna let it all hang out.


9:00 – Noon: Dealer’s Room, Board Games Room
Noon – 1:00 Lunch
1:00 – 3:00 pm: Nap
3:00 – 5:00 pm: Watching the all dog LARP “Hairy Pupper and the Deathly Howls”
5:00 – 6:00 pm: Seminar “Natural Medicine For Your Pets
6:00 – 7:00: Dinner
7:00 – Midnight?: Movie Room

Lucy & Winker & Sharon
9:00 – Noon: Dog Amusement park
Noon – 2:00 Lunch & Nap
2:00 – 5:00 pm: Preparing for and appearing in the all dog LARP “Hairy Pupper and the Deathly Howls”
5:00 – 8:00 pm: Dinner & TV
8:00 – 9:00 pm: Walkies
After 9:00 pm: Nighty Night

Mr. Porkwaffle Buys A Chopper

…and rides it out to L.A.

CatCon2: Day 1, Part Three

(NOTE: The following is all fictional.)

Oh, baby, was the live action dungeon I just finished fun! I played a rogue named Artemis and I was a lockpickin’ trap disarmin’ badass! There were 6 of us in the party: 2 fighters, one priestess, one rogue and two mages. The priestess was played by my friend, Mary Jones and we had some big fun.

Gotta make this a quick post, due to imminent partying.

Spa Trip: Was great! I felt like a new man, altho unfortunately I still look like the old one.

Dinner: I ate tamales and drank horchata during my OTE game.

The OTE Game: Went exceedingly well, altho I had not run that adventure for about 11 years. I had 7 players and they successfully stopped the headless android from the future with only a minimal loss of life and property.

The Dogs: Had, according to Sharon, a hell of a day out. Squirrels were chased, other dogs (including Prince Nibbler, newest fur kid of delazan and notoriousbkc) were met, tasty treats were eaten and baths were had. Last I saw of them, they were snoozing hard in Sharon’s room.

Grace: Has been playing board and card games all day…and making a big list of the ones she wants to buy.

Big Screen Madness: Outside the Dealer’s Room, they have several 60″ flatscreen monitors set up. They are showing live broadcasts from GenCon! Apparently, CatCon sent people there to wear helmet cams and just wander around. It’s pretty cool.

And now, Guinness and talking beckon to me.