Mrs Wangdoodle Does A Threesome With Bucky & Squint

…my eyes! Sweet Dog, my eyes!

Behold! Two Doclopedia entries today! Huzzah!

The Doclopedia #1,189

Bad Swords: Drakeslayer, The Sword That Compels

The two handed sword known as “Drakeslayer” is arguably the most famous sword of all in a world where firedrakes, 40 foot long dragons that breath 2,000 degree fire, are constantly at war with humanity.

Completely fireproof, the sword grants the same power to the person chosen to wield it. Additionally, the sword slows the aging process by half and increases the body’s ability to heal from wounds and resist disease. It also tells the user when firedrakes are near.

All of the above means that the holder of Drakeslayer is held in great esteem wherever he or she might go. Even kings and queens show deference to the mighty warrior.

But all of this comes with a price. The person bound to the sword will not stop seeking out firedrakes until they are all dead. More importantly, they will actively seek out the hard to find nests of brood mothers, which is tantamount to suicide unless one plans very carefully and has a large force. Sadly, the curse often overcome those using the sword and they charge in blindly. While many firedrakes are slain and the brood mother is often among them, the warrior is usually ripped to shreds. Those that have survived would never fight again.

When it’s owner is killed or unable to wield it, Drakeslayer magically transports itself to the town center of Renisor, there to await the next person worthy of using it.

The Doclopedia #1,190

Bad Swords: Eversharp, The Sword That Maddens

To look at it, Eversharp would seem to be no different than hundreds of other broadswords. It is well crafted and has a sharp blade, but aside from that, there is nothing special to see.

But once you have picked it up, it feels very right in your hand. Trying it out, you seem to be more skilled than before. You feel powerful. And so you buy it.

Eversharp works a curse slowly on the user. Each time it draws blood, you feel a bit more excitement. Each night your dreams are a bit more bloody and violent. Other people start to seem worthless as anything besides prey for your blade.

Eventually, you become a full blown serial killer, preying upon a certain type of person. This could be men, women, children, rich or poor. They could be of any race or species. All they are to you is a chance to satisfy the voices in your head.

When the crazed killer is finally caught or killed, the sword gets lost. It will not turn up again for months. When it does, it will be hundreds or thousands of miles away, ready for the next person to use it.


A Watched Plot Never Boils

…a lesson for writers, that


The Doclopedia #1,144

Magical Masks: The Mask Of Frankenstein

First off, students, this mask has nothing to do with that unfortunate wretch Victor Frankenstein or his creation. It does, however have everything to do with his cousin, an equally mad wizard by the name of Karl Frankenstein.

Wizard Frankenstein was obsessed with the thought of cheating death. This is a not uncommon thing among wizards, despite the fact that most will live two to three centuries. He consulted all of the usual texts and a good many unusual one, too, but to no avail. He would never reach the level of power necessary to become a lich, the usual method for attaining some degree of immortality.

Still determined to escape death’s embrace, Karl set about transferring his soul into some object that a human might used, and once used, would allow his soul to take control of their body. He decided upon a mask.

For two years, the madman wove dark spells, several requiring human sacrifices. At the end of things, weak and near death, he instructed his apprentices to cut off his face and place it into a specially prepared chemical bath. They did as he instructed them and he died at the moment his face entered the cursed liquid.

A week later, the apprentices removed the mask, for that is what the horrid skin had become, and rinsed it in the blood of three virgins. The mask was beautiful, showing the face of a young man, made of finest leather and decorated with gold, silver and jade. It was so alluring that the eldest apprentice slipped it on. He writhed in pain, unable to scream. A few seconds later the voice of Karl Frankenstein boomed out “I live!” and laughed maniacally. He strutted around, telling his remaining two apprentices how they would all soon move to a better location and pursue darker and more powerful magicks.

But then he removed the mask, which flew from his hand, landing acros the room. Suddenly gasping for breath, the wizard fell to the floor and died. Well, actually, the apprentice’s body died. Karl Frankenstein was back inside the mask, where he learned that evil spells enact a price upon those who cast them.

The curse is that to remain alive, the mask must never be removed. Now, this might seem a simple task, but curses will have their little twists and this one causes the mask to begin itching a year and a day after it is put on. Karl has yet to last more than a month after the itching starts.

And then there is the part about getting the mask found by somebody, so they might put it on. Since Karl often tears it off while in a remote or hidden place, it can lie undiscovered for years or even decades. To date, 215 years after his initial death, the mask has managed to give Karl Frankenstein only 14 years of added life.