The Rare and Beautiful Snarky Pigeon Of Potawango Island

…beautiful plumage, but they can be annoying.

 

365 DAYS, 365 POSTS #6

The Doclopedia #1216

Potion Recipes: The Most Exalted Potion Of Summoning D’Lorkuu And Smiting One’s Enemies

What You Will Require

16 slaves, preferably Hinokans of the smeem caste

1 liver from an adult male CleTak beast

43 small, yet fully ripe vaa berries

3 gallons of water blessed by the Most High Mother of the Third Church of Yot

A small bit of flesh from one of the enemies threatening your city

7 dried and prepared yunk eels

One large (at least 30 gallons) Jijidian spellcasting cauldron

Preparation

Mark 4 of your less desirable slaves with red paint

Order half of your slaves to place the cauldron in a spot where your advancing enemies can be observed. While they are doing this, the other slaves must sing and dance in praise of D’Lorkuu.

Remove all of your clothing, have one of your apprentices smear your entire body with Lotion of R’rakk, then don the ceremonial Robes of Summoning.

While you recite the epic poem “D’Lorkuu Eats The Face Of Masdeenops” and your slaves wail in fear, pour the water into the cauldron. When this is done crumble into it the yunk eels and the vaa berries.

After ordering your slaves to assume the Blessed Position Of Summoning, drop in the liver and say the Dread Words of D’Lorkuu.

The water should increase fivefold in volume, then assume a thick consistency. Order the slaves marked in red into the cauldron while you praise them for their sacrifice.

As they dissolve, sing the Fifth Song Of War and toss in the bit of your enemies flesh.

Along with your remaining slaves, run very quickly away from the cauldron. You must be at least a half mile away when, in 5 minutes, D’Lorkuu appears.

Once you are safe, give thanks to D’Lorkuu as he slays and consumes your enemies, then immediately start preparing The Most Exalted Potion Of Banishing D’Lorkuu.

Advertisements