It’s All Fun And Games Until Mr. Kraznisky Starts To Go Blind

…it was temporary, but still,,,

 

The Doclopedia #1,069

Saloons, Bars & Pubs: Dragon Mountain Inn

On Earth 33-F, the world was conquered by China in the year 800 AD. This was helped by the fact that Earth 33-F is a magical world, but Chinese magic was the strongest by far. Now, the world very much Chinese and there are many sacred and magical sites to which pilgrims, scholars and the just plain curious go. One such place is Dragon Mountain, located where Mount Washington, New Hampshire would be in our world. Atop it (or maybe inside it) live the Mother & Father of All Dragons. Why the hell people go see them is a mystery, but those who go always stop at the Dragon Mountain Inn.

The inn is large and built of the granite this area is famous for. Inside are sleeping rooms , dining rooms, a temple, baths, a drinking room and even a library. Next to the inn are stables and a healer’s hut. Just across the road is a shrine full of items left by those who have made the journey.

The owners and staff of the inn are gracious, efficient and skilled at their jobs. Rates are much cheaper in the winter months, when only the desperate or insane go up the mountain.

The inn is located about halfway up the mountain, exactly 100 steps from the line that the dragons burned around the mountain to mark where their territory begins.

Note: Only about 1 in 5 people who go up Dragon Mountain ever come back down. Those who do are often quite different, both physically and mentally, from when they went up.

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The Doclopedia #1,070

Saloons, Bars & Pubs: The Jungle Room

From: Doc Tempest

To: All Agents

Date: June 1, 1936

I am happy to report that renovations to the Jungle Room, located in Los Angeles and formerly owned by the late Angelo “Hammers” Carbone, are completed and it is now under our control. It will have a gala opening on June 10th.

Management of the Jungle Room is being handled by one of our best repurposed former criminals, Salvatore “Icepick Sal” Rosetti. Sal is sparing no expense in making the Jungle Room the place for both the famous and infamous to meet.

The dancers in the nightly “Jungle Drums” review are all Agents, mostly from here in the US, but also including several from our African operation. They are under the direction of Dr. Joshua Franklin, whom many of you know from his work against the Ku Klux Klan. He now goes by the name of “Doozie Hulbert” and appears in the review as a witch doctor. I’m told he is thoroughly enjoying preparing for life on the stage. He will also be handling things in the sub-basement laboratory.

The waitstaff and cigarette girls are all graduates of our Academy and include Miss Polly North, our 1935 Female Shooting Competition winner. Our head chef is non other than retired Colonel Gerard Denis, recently retired from both the La Sûreté Nationale and our European operation. He is an excellent chef.

Agents working the Los Angeles area are urged to visit the Jungle Room on a regular basis, especially those of you with high end cover identities

Attached, please find a list of all secrets entrances, passwords, weapons/equipment stashes and other relevant information.

Good Luck!

James Tempest

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Handsome Joe And His Pals Watch TV

…mostly, Animal Planet

 

The Doclopedia #964

Weights & Measures: 5 Pounds Genre: Fantasy

Yes, my apprentice, this Sword of Dragon Slaying does weigh exactly five pounds. A full pound of that is the golden inlay of runes that impart an Eversharp Blade to it, while the Jewels of Enhanced Speed in the pommel weigh a quarter pound all by themselves. Oh, no, the actual Dwarven Steel weighs much less than you would think. It seems the Gnomes, after many explosions and several non fatal maimings, devised a process by which the Dwarves could make the steel twice as strong with half the weight. Amazing stuff, really, as I was telling One Eyed Lefty Gnomingomer the other day.

The customer? Oh, that would be Duke Ringust Lantero of Lantieri. If ever there were a man and sword that had a chance at killing the Great Dragon of Tuuv, it is he and this sword. Even so, I give him a 50/50 chance at best. Have you ever heard that dragon described? 200 feet long from nose to tail and breathes White Fire! No, my shillings are on the dragon, lass.”

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The Doclopedia #965

Weights & Measures: 10 Cubic Centimeters Genre: Pulp

It wasn’t much to look at, being a mere cube of metal with a few wires protruding, but Doc Tempest, Sally Smithfield and the rest of the crew knew that it had been the “brains” of the giant robot ape that Hurricane Hampstead had used to terrorize Govunga while he had been going after the diamonds in the lost temple.

Boy,” Sally said, “I’d sure like to get a look inside that to see how it works.” She was intensely interested in how Professor Grave had packed so much information into such a small space.

Doc nodded. “So would I, Sally, but I’m pretty sure trying to cut it open would destroy it. Still, we can x-ray it and run it through a few other processes. Maybe that will tell us something.”

It’s a shame Professor Grove chose to die with Hampstead, trying to get those diamonds.” Sally would never understand people who placed greed above science.

Doc placed the small cube into a padded case, which he then shut and locked.

Greed is a sickness of the mind, Sally. It has cost countless lives through the ages. That’s why we must fight to conquer it.”

With that, the seven of them walked back to their airship and set to getting it ready for the trip back to San Francisco.

Goats In The Room Of Shoes

…on the Magic Bus

The Doclopedia #483

Seven Questions About…: Doc Tempest

What makes Doc Tempest so special?

Doc Tempest, like many of the astounding heroes & villains of our world, is a member of another branch of the human species, one that began to show up around 2,500 BCE in various parts of the world. By and large, these “New Humans” are stronger, smarter and possessed of better senses than ordinary homo sapiens.

When did the first Doc Tempest appear?

Technically, the first known case of anyone in the family using the last name “Tempest” would have been in 1634 when the pirate known as “Captain James Tempest” began attacking British and French ships. The first actual “Doctor Tempest” was William “Will” Tempest, who started his adventuring career in 1880 and who was the first Doc Tempest to begin having his adventures retold in in a magazine in 1884.

There are many unproven rumors that members of the Tempest family have been active in fighting crime prior to 1880. Some examples are the White Rider who operated from the mid 1660’s to almost 1702, the globe trotting master of disguise Miss Mystery and the terror of the British army during the War for Independence, the Masked Patriot.

How many Doc Tempests have their been and were they all really doctors?

There have been 8 Doc Tempests so far: Will, Jack, Nick, James, Kelli, Sean, Sally and Chris. In fact, all of them have been doctors, but only three of them were medical doctors. Two were engineers, one was a biologist, one was a parapsychologist and one was a chemist.

Are the stories in Doc Tempest Magazine and the graphic novels all true?

Yes, although at times names and dates have been changed. At other times, various governments have requested changes or even censorship of some of the stories.

Who were Doc Tempest for the longest and shortest times?

The longest running Doc Tempest was the second female Doc, Sally Tempest. She was active for one month shy of 30 years (October 1999-November 2029). She retired due to “getting too old for this shit” at age 55. The shortest term as Doc Tempest goes to Jack Tempest (June 1889-June 1906) at just 7 years. He was badly injured by Chinese sorcery just a couple of weeks before the great San Francisco earthquake. He did not die, but lost the use of one arm and eye.

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

All of the Doc Tempests have had access to incredible wealth and that means that they can afford armies of scientists and skilled craftsmen to build the gadgets, devices, transportation and equipment they need.

How much is the Tempest Foundation worth?

Nobody really knows, but in 2025, Forbes magazine guessed at a trillion dollars. Sally Tempest would neither confirm or deny that figure, but did say it was a very good guess.

The Chicken Who Ate Milwaukee

…naturally, he washed it down with beer

Ok, so I’m reading about science fiction book series on Wikipedia today and I’m checking out a series titled “Hero.com” (published in 2009) and I read this…

“Rise of the Heroes

Toby, Pete, Lorna, and Emily are just average kids—until they stumble upon a Web site called Hero.com and download powers that turn them into superheroes. At first, flying, teleporting, and shooting lasers from their eyes seems like nothing but fun. But when the supervillain Doc Tempest kidnaps Toby and Lorna’s mom, things take a darker turn.”

Doc Tempest? DOC TEMPEST? That would be the name I came up with for a Pulp Hero back in 1990 and whom was subsequently mention in RPG sessions at GenCon in 1991 & 1992, as well as being mentioned in A&E during the 90’s AND being all over both my old Blogger blog and this LJ (since 2004).

Now, it very well could be just a coincidence. However, apparently these books are gonna be turned into a TV movie on Cartoon Network. It would royally suck if, some day, I got a cease and desist from whoever the fuck owns Cartoon Network. I can’t afford a lawyer to help me win a pissing contest with some megacorp, to say nothing of the original author of the books.

So, what the hell should I do? It does seem that the evil villain “Doc Tempest” only appeared in the first book, but still…

Being A Good Neighbor…Yer Doin’ It Wrong

…based on real life

A Bit Of Fiction: “Goodbye, Sally” (Epilogue from Doc Tempest and the Werewolves of London)

The room measured 30 feet on a side, with a 12 foot ceiling. The stasis generator took up nearly half the room and it had taken Doc and Sally nearly 3 months to install and test it. A third of the remaining space was occupied by the Tesla Engine that would power the generator. In the center of what open space remained was the stasis tank. In marked contrast with every other workspace of Sally’s that Doc had ever seen, this one was spotless. He mentioned that fact to her as he filled one syringe with the innoculant and another with a sedative.

Sally chuckled. “Yeah, well, it wouldn’t do to wake up 25 years from now in a pig sty.” She slipped off her robe and stood nude in front of Doc, extending her arms for the injections. Anyone seeing her like this would have been surprised, but Doc had been her friend as well as her physician for almost 20 years now. She had no secrets from him.

The first injection was a touch painful, owing to the larger needle, but the second was over and done with before she even realized it. Almost immediately, she began to feel relaxed.

“You’ll be ready to go in a couple of minutes”, Doc said as he put the syringes away. He didn’t ask her if she was sure she wanted to do this or if she was afraid or anything. Everything that could be said between them had already been said months ago. Even then, he had understood and not tried to dissuade her. He had known how hard Carol’s murder had hit her…how angry she had been at the world and the people who couldn’t accept other people’s choices. He had been there for her. But then, what else could you expect from Doc Tempest?

“Feelin’ a bit woozy, Doc”, she drawled as she walked towards the stasis tank with him. “You’ll have to help me get inna tank.” She giggled.

Doc smiled. “Not a problem. Let me just give you a once over to make sure everything is ok.”

He checked her pulse, breathing, heart rate and pupils. Everything was fine. Her skin, in reaction to the innoculant, was covered with what looked like pale pink sweat, but was actually the interfacing hormone she was exuding.

Doc was supporting her now, one arm around her shoulders, his other hand holding her left arm. He looked at the now dreamy expression on her face and quietly said, “It’s time, Sally.” Then he picked her up and placed her in the tank. As her body sank, he held her head up long enough to put the breathing mask over her face.

Just before she completely submerged, she looked at him.

“G’night, Doc. See you in nineteen sicksy four”

And then she was out and fully submerged. Doc closed the lid of the tank and walked over to the stasis generator. After checking the lone meter on it’s side, he flipped the lone switch next to it. The generator began to hum, the pitch getting higher, until after just over a minute later, it leveled off at a point where only dogs and Doc Tempest could hear it.

Ten seconds later, electricity crackled around the stasis tank and the fluid inside instantly crystallized. Doc inspected the tank in minute detail. When he was satisfied that nothing was amiss, he stood there, looking at Sally Smithfield, perhaps the most unique scientist he had ever met, as she slept so peacefully.

“I promise you, Sally, that the world you’ll wake up in will be a more tolerant and accepting place. I’ll make it that way, whatever it takes.”

And then Doc Tempest left the room, shut the door and left Sally to her long sleep.