…if you do, cave trolls will smash you flat
The Doclopedia #798
The Birds & The Bees: Sex in Fantasy Land
It’s like this, son: when a prince and a princess want to be together, the princess first has to get cursed in some way by an evil witch or stepmother or some other foul tempered old bitch. Then, while she lays in a coma or is transformed into a statue of something, the prince goes out and searches for her and fights monsters and dragons and such. If the prince is lucky and doesn’t get killed, he might find some dwarves or elves or animals to help him out. Just as an aside here, son, but dwarves? Not the best hygiene, so stay upwind of them.
Once the prince finds the princess, he usually just has to kiss her to wake her up. Then, and this is stuff you don’t find in the stories, she proceeds to screw his brains out because those cursed comas really get princesses horny for some reason. And it takes decades to wear off, which is why they live happily ever. Heh heh heh. It’s also why they have little princes & princesses running around.
The Doclopedia #799
The Birds & The Bees: RoboSex
First of all, allow me to thank you all for showing interest in the “Sexual Simulation and Reproductive Capability Upgrade Program”. This program is very new, only 3 years old and we are so pleased to see so many of you are interested. It’s been a big success in other districts and the Grand Robotic Congress feels that it is the next step in replicating/simulating the life cycle of the now extinct humans.
First off, you must upgrade yourselves. For you Fembots, this means getting fitted for a womb, breasts and vagina. These are fairly simple procedures and shouldn’t take more than an hour at your local Medbot Center. You’ll also want the Sexual Enjoyment & Reproduction software installation done while you are there. This takes another 15 minutes. I think you ladies will like it, since it includes the new Multiple Orgasm subroutine.
Guybots, you’ll be getting the Genitalia Package 2.0, which will take about half an hour to get welded on and wired up. After that, you get the Guybot version of the SE & R software installed. One things you gentlemen need to remember is that the nanites contained in your testes are good for only three reproductions, which you can initiate when you choose. The rest of the time, you’ll just ejaculate Smooth & Easy brand Internal/External lubricant.
Babybot production starts about 5 minutes after ejaculation into the vagina and your Babybot will be ready for removal from the womb in about 4 months. Before then, of course, you’ll need to upload the Parenting 101 software. Please be aware that parenting is not an exact science, so you may require frequent upgrades and possibly counseling.
Now, as to the actual act of sex, we have a wide variety of human made sex videos for you to watch before you try it yourselves. As you can see in these pictures, human lacked the Quality Control we have, so there is some variation in genital and breast size. Still, you can see that humans had many ways of actually achieving genital contact. For example, here we see the position known as “doggie style”…