My Life Among The Flowering Plants

…and insects, lots of insects
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The Doclopedia #1,934

The Alphabet #8: J Is For…
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Jethro Troll, a very famous and popular rock & roll group on PotterEarth 5. It consists of a bass player, drummer, two guitarists, keyboard player and a flute player who habitually stands on one leg while playing.

The group is known for such hot selling and critically acclaimed albums as “Aquatongue”, “Thick As A Spellbook” and “Too Old To Rock & Roll, Too Young To Become A Lich”.

No member of the group is a troll.

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The Doclopedia #1,935

The Alphabet #8: I Is For…

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Ignatz Kwazimi, a Mad Scientist from Africa on Earth 227-P. Very little is known about his age or appearance, since he insists on wearing a mask and robes when making his regular demands via television, radio and the internet.

Doctor Kwazimi, as he insists on being called, is a prolific and probably nutty, issuer of demands. He usually asks for a billion or two dollars, lest he unleash his latest creation on the world. So far, he has made maybe 2 million dollars, mostly from folks on Patreon who want to see what crazy shit he invents next.

So far, he has unleashed Chocolate Warriors (melted in 20 minutes), Giant Spiders (crushed by their own weight), Giant Ants (same), Giant Hamsters (same), Death Gas (made most people sneeze a few times), Insanity Bomb (cured 92 people of a cat phobia) and a Giant Iron War Centipede (got rained on in the first hour and rusted solid).

Hobbits! We’re All Becoming Hobbits!

…without Second Breakfast

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The Doclopedia #1,930

The Alphabet #8: N Is For…
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…Newt People
, a race of humanoid amphibians on Earth 925-J. They stand about 4 feet tall and look pretty much like newts that have been rendered anthropomorphic by magic, which is exactly what happened 500 years ago.

The Newt People are a gentle race that dislike violence and shun warfare and magic. The live at an Iron Age level and like it that way.

The main homeland of the Newt People is Girran Bog, although several hundred also live in the Wetlands of Tando.

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The Doclopedia #1,931

The Alphabet #8: M Is For…
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Mira Lim, was also known as the Crime Queen on Earth 2-W. She was a master criminal, having learned the craft from her grandmother, mother and aunts. Born in San Francisco to Chinese citizens, Mira returned to Hong Kong at the age of 16, By her 20th birthday, she was second in command of the most feared all female gang in the city. By 25, she controlled the gang and was busy murdering her rivals. When she turned 30, she controlled all crime in the city and a good bit of it on the mainland.

Mira died from cancer at the age of 80. The next day, Hong Kong erupted in a gang war that still rages 20 years later.

Dogs in Lockdown, Cats Held Prisoner

…it’s a tragedy

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The Doclopedia #1,928

The Alphabet #8: P Is For…
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Pieboy, is a resident of our own Earth Prime. In the years 1977-1980, he was a young college student who worked at the family bakery while going to school. During his first semester, he started hanging out with an eclectic bunch of slightly older students. Since his specialty at the bakery was pies, he would often bring them to parties. They were delicious and so he got the nickname Pieboy.

Pieboy was also known for getting involved in crazy undertakings like “Downhill Mud Surfing”, “Nude Tree Climbing” and a particularly demented and disastrous road trip to Portland, Oregon.

Finally, being a cute and innocent looking lad, Pieboy often found himself being seduced by older women. He eventually married one of them and now lives with her in Canada.

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The Doclopedia #1,929

The Alphabet #8: O Is For…

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Ontrosko, a large city on the Atlantean Plateau, in central Atlantis on Earth 57-S. It has a population of 2.25 million people and is the travel and recreation hub of the continent.

Being in a largely flat plateau with a Mediterranean climate, Ontrosko enjoys good weather most of the year. As a result, it is also the entertainment center of Atlantis, home to nearly all of the movie and television studios.

Like most Atlantean cities and towns, Ontrosko is laid out in concentric rings, with 128 hub streets running across it. Public transportation is the fastest way to get around, although many people walk, ride bicycles or use floaters to travel.

Tourists from outside Atlantis should be aware that, more than any other city on the continent, Ontrosko has an extremely relaxed attitude about sex, sexuality and nudity. Prostitution is legal and visible and sex clubs can be found all over the city.

No Zombies Yet!

…thankfully

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Become a Patron! And I’ll name a basset hound plushie after you

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The Doclopedia #1,926

The Alphabet #8: R Is For…

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Red Fog, a very nasty thing to encounter on Earth 88-G. Composed of hundreds of millions of bloodsucking tickwasps half the size of a grain of rice, they can drain an average sized human of blood in under 90 seconds.

Red Fog occurs primarily in Europe and North America. Tickwasps do not survive long in hot arid regions or in hot humid regions. They have few predators, the main one being the Black Widemouth Day Bat. One of them can swallow up 2,000 tickwasps in a single pass. The Red Fog will not drink their blood due to a naturally occurring toxin.

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The Doclopedia #1,927

The Alphabet #8: Q Is For…

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Queerzini The Magnificent, a very popular gay illusionist and escape artist on Earth 2-O. He has done several television specials and regularly appears in Las Vegas. His shows are outrageous, bawdy and totally fabulous. He and is assistants sing, dance and tell jokes, all while performing great stage magic.

Aside from all the flamboyance of his show, Queerzini (real name: Dennis Leoni) is consistently rated one of the top 5 illusionists of all time. He has written 11 books on magic and magicians and regularly advises movie productions.

When not on the road, he lives in San Diego with his husband and three daughters.

Jumping Through Hoops To Bring You These Blogs

…but do you ever write or call? No, you don’t

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The Doclopedia #1,924

The Alphabet #8: T Is For…

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Transformational Tommy, a comic book about a trans man and his journey. Written in a semi-autobiographical style, the 15 issue comic was heavy on humor. The author/artist, Tommy Allison, poked fun at parents, friends, employers, doctors and especially, himself.

The comic sold very well for a small independent and got valuable exposure when Tommy appeared on Late Night with David Letterman. Eventually, a movie was made. It did pretty well at the box office and spawned a 16 episode series on Netflix.

Allison’s next comic is titled “Love? WTF?”
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The Doclopedia #1,925

The Alphabet #8: S Is For…

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…Slime Be Gone, a very popular slime/ooze/jelly/blob/pudding repellent widely sold on Earth 890-A. It really does keep away those silent, formless and deadly dungeon dwellers. At 15 gold pieces per 3 dose bottle, it’s aa bargain.

Also available at fine apothecaries everywhere: No Gnolls!, Spider Scram, Zom-B-Gone and Orc Off!

Hunkering Down With Books & Beer

…could be worse

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The Doclopedia #1,922

The Alphabet #8: V Is For…

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Velvet Warrior, an androgynous glam metal band popular on Earth 1-B for about 18 months in the late 70s. Their first album “Beware The Velvet Warrior”, had three #1 hits. They did a 9 month arena tour of North America and Europe, then came home to Los Angeles and worked on their second album “Soft Ax”.

Their second album had one song reach #8 on the charts for two weeks, but the rest of it was totally forgettable. Within a few months, the band broke up, reformed 6 months later, then broke up again. They re-formed in 1998 and have been doing nostalgia shows ever since.

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The Doclopedia #1,923

The Alphabet #8: U Is For…

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Utassia, a dwarf planet found in the solar system of Earth 8-M. Utassia, named for Gaby Utassia, the astronomer who discovered it in 1678, is about twice the size of Earths moon and orbits between the asteroid belt and Jupiter.

Utassia has a very thin layer of ice covering its surface, mostly carbon dioxide. There is also water ice, which makes Utassia an excellent choice for refueling for ship bound for the outer solar system.

Utassia Base has a permanent population of 4,200 humans and 400 robots. It is governed by the Solar Federation.

Locked Down, But Not Out

…we sstill have food and toilet paper

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The Doclopedia #1,920

The Alphabet #8: X Is For…

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Xilk, a new miracle fabric on Earth 2-H. It feels and looks like silk, but is far tougher and fire resistant. Currently, it is also more expensive. Xilk is produced by creatures that are a mix of Black Widow Spider and Toggenberg dairy goats. You would not want to encounter one anywhere.

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The Doclopedia #1,921

The Alphabet #8: W Is For…

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Wizard Day, a major holiday on Earth 600-R. People dress up as wizards and have parades and give gifts to their favorite wizards. In turn, the wizards cast cool and useful spells. They also hand out candies. The entire day is topped off by a wizard inspired fireworks show.