Marshmallow Peeps As A Deterrent To War

…first, drop humongous Peeps on your borders

The Trip to DogCon 3: Day 7, Part 2, In which we see a stampede of old people, view a pyramid and let our critters run free.

(Note: All comments by Flash are in italics)

In Minot, North Dakota, we had to buy a few necessities and, finding nowhere else cheap to shop, were forced to go into a Wal-Mart. Since this is a wholly distasteful thing for both Grace & I, we were determined to make it as fast as possible.

Once inside the place, we noticed a great number of old folks, Turns out, it was “Senior Appreciation Day” and seniors were getting discounts on stuff. We went and got what we needed and were heading towards the checkout line when some doofus came on the loudspeaker and said that all prescriptions were now just $1.00. Holt fuck, the old folks went crazy! A huge mass of them started heading towards the pharmacy at the front of the store. They were yelling and fighting for position and they didn’t hear the doofus clarify that he meant prescriptions on just one type of medicine were $1.00.

I don’t know about you, but seeing a surging tsunami of old people heading towards us scared the hell out of Grace & I & a couple of cashiers. We all ran out the front doors just as the tidal wave of senior citizens broke on the pharmacy. Even worse, as they found out about the mistake, the old coots started getting angry. Next thing you know, there was a full fledged riot going on! I looked at my Sweet Angel and we both decided to haul ass back to the bus and get the fuck outta there.

My sisters and I could smell old human smell all the way out to the bus. It was not pleasant.

We were a good mile from the now burning & surrounded by cops Wal-Mart before we realized that we had not paid for our stuff. Score!

Some 87 miles down the highway from Minot, we came to yet another roadside attraction, The Pyramid Of The Prairie. This thing is build entirely out of old flattened cars ans is 60 feet on a side and 70 feet tall at the peak, which is, if I saw correctly, a squashed red 1964 Chevy Corvair.

I smelled like, maybe 1,000,000,000 mice at that place!

For three bucks you get to look at it up close and even go inside to the “Great Chamber”, where a perfectly preserved gold 1959 Cadillac Eldorado sits in a huge open sarcophagus. It was cool and at the same time very strange.

We took lots of pictures, bought t-shirts and postcards (no fridge magnets) and then got back on the road. A few hours later, we arrived in Fargo. When we went out to eat at a Golden Corral, I asked the server if she knew where I could rent a wood chipper. She must have A: seen the movie and B: never been asked that, because she started laughing so hard she had to sit down.

It is always pleasing to have one’s humor appreciated.

After dinner, we returned to the RV park, which has a very large fenced in dog park. We let the hounds and Flash run loose and wouldn’t ya know it, a squirrel fell out of a tree into the enclosure. In the wink of an eye, Lucy, Flash and a terrier named George were after the bushy tailed intruder. They did a couple of laps around the fence line, then the squirrel shot up the fence. That stopped the dogs, but Flash was still in hot pursuit. He chased the squirrel along the top of the fence, but it jumped onto a low hanging tree limb and was gone. Still, Flash seemed pretty pleased with himself and we all praised his fine effort at rodent control.

Dude, that squirrel was all like “oops!” and I was all like “oh hell yes” and then he was all like “SHIT!” and me and the dogs were like “yer dead, bitch!” and then it was hella crazy and then I was like “I’m on yer ass, squirrely” and then he was like jumpin’ and dude, it was hella cool!

As we often do, movies were watched (“Big Trouble In Little Jamaica” and “Willy Wonka Goes To Mars”), chocolate eaten and then beds were climbed into. Tomorrow, we venture into darkest Minnesota and whatever strange things await us there.

Destination Sign: The Cobalt Club

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