…do I need to tell you what time it was?
The Doclopedia #559
Calling All Frogs: The Terrible Treefrog
When you think about it, it’s kind of funny that a 4′ 10” wiry framed little super villain called The Terrible Treefrog would be one of the most successful villains of all. Many villains were larger and more powerful. A goodly number were smarter and had fancy bases and plenty of mad inventions. Almost all were more dangerous.
And perhaps that’s exactly why The Terrible Treefrog was the one to get away with so much: No great world conquering plans, no look or attitude that attracted too much attention and no desire to try and kick some superheroes ass. All The Terrible Treefrog wanted was a big pile of money.
The true identity of this amazing little criminal was Amanda Mercado, a high school senior from a small town 75 miles from Miami, Florida. About the time she hit puberty, Amanda found that she could leap over 50 feet from a standing start, cling to walls, see very well in the dark, dive deep into water and stay under for up to 20 minutes and, lastly, emit a high pitched croak that could shatter glass and stun living creatures.
At first, the young lady could only think of herself as a freak, but after awhile it dawned on her that she might be able to use these powers to make some money. Not in any way that would make it known that she was a freak, of course, so maybe…something illegal? Always a skilled seamstress, she made up a green and brown costume with just enough padding to hide her boobs and then drove her old beater of a hand me down car into Miami.
Once in the city, she suited up and went looking for a place or person to rob. It was late at night and she was well hidden when she saw the jewelry store. Figuring that diamonds probably were a girl’s best friend, she gathered up her courage and croaked. The windows in that store and a half dozen others shattered. Oops! In seconds, she was in the store scooping jewelry into a small bag. Just as she was leaving, the cops arrived. They tried to get her to stop, but she just jumped away too fast to get shot.
Within about a week, Amanda learned that expensive jewelry is really difficult to turn into money if you’re a teenage girl with no criminal past. So, about three weeks after her first appearance (after which a newspaper reporter had given her the nickname “Treefrog”), she went back into Miami just before it was time for the banks to close. Having practiced her croaking, jumping and acrobatics, she was in the bank and had almost everybody inside it stunned within a few seconds. It took her less than two minutes to gather up a hundred thousand dollars in cash. Once again, as she was leaving, she encountered the police. Once again, she got away unharmed, but not before she croaked out “Beware The Terrible Treefrog!” in a gravelly voice that everybody heard for a hundred yards around.
During the next couple of years, Amanda robbed banks, armored cars and a couple of casinos. She encountered only a couple of superheroes. One of them was an older fellow named “The Racer”, who could run very fast, but had lost much of his stamina to old age. Three times she outmaneuvered him, until he finally tripped and broke his leg. Another hero was much younger, totally hunky, very strong and, Amanda soon found out, not all that bright. Each time they met, she outsmarted him, including one meeting where she tricked him into a bank vault, then shut and locked the door.
When she had about a five million dollar bankroll, Amanda gave up her life of crime and went to college, where she majored in criminal science and got a PhD. She now works for the FBI out of Los Angeles and lives very comfortably off of her “lucky investments”.
Recently though, criminals in the City of Angels have been getting their asses handed to them by a new superhero who calls herself “Jumping Spider”.
The Doclopedia #560
Calling All Frogs: The Great Frog Panic Of 1962
It was late July of 1962 and Jimmy Joe Barks and his cousin, Mervy Runch had a secret: over the past couple of months, they had caught and collected over 300 frogs of all sized! They had little spring peepers, leopard frogs and big old bullfrogs. They kept them on jars and a couple of old bathtubs covered with screen and even in that leaky 50 gallon aquarium old man Hunkle had thrown away. They fed them bugs and flies and the frogs did really well.
Now, you might be asking, just why did these two eleven year olds gather up so many frogs? Money? A love of nature? Frog leg dinner? Heck no! They gathered them up to turn loose at the Founder’s Day Dance & Party!
So, on the final Saturday night of July, around about 7:15, just as the spaghetti dinner was winding down and Joey and the Boppers were tuning up for the dance, the boys struck. After lugging all of those frogs to the back door of the Community Center, they turned them loose. Happy to be freed from the sacks and jars that has imprisoned them, the amphibians swarmed into the party.
The first persons to see them were Jimmy Joe’s Aunt Delia and her friend, Mrs. Cable. Now, both of these ladies had a big fear of anything creepy crawly, so when they saw the frogs while carrying a couple of bowls of leftover spaghetti back to the kitchen, they screamed like Satan was standing there and threw spaghetti all over the place.
Racing to see what the screaming was about, Butch Groves slipped on a meatball and slid right into a group of local farmers. Now, Butch weighs in at about 340 pounds on a 6’4” frame, so he bowled them right over.
While they were getting untangled, a huge bullfrog hopped right into the middle of a bunch of teenage girls, sending them running and screaming in all directions. At the other end of the hall, several older folks thought the screaming was “some rock & roll thing”, so they started yelling for the girls to shut up.
When about four leopard frogs jumped into the punch bowl, Hazel Owens freaked out and spilled a plate of mostly spaghetti sauce on her bosom. Staggering away, so as not to slip on spilled punch, she looked as though she’s been stabbed, which caused her mother (a very rotund woman) to faint dead away. Unfortunately, she fell on Reverend Mokely and some folks took that to mean she’d been shot.
By now, about half of the 300 people in the Community Center were panicking and the rest were just encountering the frogs. Old Man Tadwell started yelling, which caused his three big old coonhounds to come running in from outside, which only made the whole situation worse.
After just a few minutes, the Sheriff came in and almost immediately got knocked on his can by the Frolich brothers as they were running out the door. Over on the bandstand, one of the coonhounds knocked the bass player into the drums, while another bumped into an amplifier, turning the volume all the way up and causing a hell of a feedback loop.
Eventually, everybody was running and screaming and yelling and it took all three deputies, six firemen and the Sheriff to finally calm things down. The dance was, of course, canceled and the doctors over at the clinic gave out about a years worth of sedatives. There were three broken noses, four twisted ankles, three sprained backs and dozens of assorted lesser injuries. Some folks developed a fear of frogs that lasted for years.
The next day, Jimmy Joe and Mervy agreed that their prank had been a big success. A couple of days after that, they began trying to figure out how they could safely catch a few skunks to turn loose over at the high school’s Christmas Ball come December.