Never Hide A Duck In Your Pants

…nobody will end up happy about it

The FINAL entry for this version of The Alphabet. Christ, that took way too long.

The Doclopedia #1,369

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “Z”

Z is for: Zenobia N’Golo

Zenobia is an artist who specializes in depicting the neo-rural lifestyle of Gardener Dome. Although she primarily paints using acrylics, she has been known to sculpt in a variety of media. Her work can be seen all over the Dome and around Mars.

She and her husband, Mick, live in a large cottage on Hayride Street, which they share with their two children, their cat, T’Challa, and their dog, Bruce. They often host dinner parties with food prepared by Mick, since Zenobia is an admitted danger in the kitchen.

Zenobia was born in the East Central Sector of United Africa, but her family moved to Mars when she was 5. She is 5′ 7” tall and often wears bright green overalls.

Module 1-Y: The Haunted Dungeon Of The Fart Demons

…EWWWWW, demon farts!


The second to last entry for Gardener Dome…FINALLY!

The Doclopedia #1,368

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “Y”

Y is for: Yolanda Winkleton

Yolanda is the Tourist Service Answer Woman in Gardener Dome. The dome gets several thousand tourists a year and Yolanda is ready to answer their questions and help them out.

When she is not at work, she lives on a small aquaculture farm with her husband, Benny, and her two daughters, Justine & Millie. They raise gourmet algae. In her spare time, Yolanda collects old 45 rpm records.

Yolanda is a Martian woman. She stands 6′ 11” tall and has long black hair and gray eyes.

Unhappy Curlews Annoyed My Otters

…they should cheer the hell up

The Doclopedia #1,370

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “X”

X is for: Xakry

70 years ago, when scientists started developing Smart Animals and New Humans and other genetic creations, they accidentally created a few Mutants. Yes, just like in the comics. Humans with strange powers.

Xakry is one of those Mutants. Despite being 70 years old, he looks about 12. He dresses like any kid you might meet on Mars, but his teeth are too wide and his eyes are a swirl of colors and he sometimes flies and he can create very realistic illusions.

By interplanetary law, Xakry can go wherever he wants except for Class 3 and above Restricted Areas. He has plenty of money from a government grant, but he never spends much. He always seems to be seeing things nobody else can.

Xakry has lived in Gardener Dome for 9 years. He can often be found helping folks out with various chores.

The Really Rather Silly, But Also Strangely Erotic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Panda Of Love

…co-starring her wacky pal, Emma Goosemeyer


I am SO sorry for not keeping this blog updated as often as I should. Life has been throwing me curves for quite a while and this has impacted damn near everything I do. I’ll try to be more regular on here.



The Doclopedia #1,369

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “W”

W is for: Winikon Jaskerath

Wini is one of the few New Breed Humans on Mars. Created partly in a laboratory and partly in a human womb, Wini looks for all the world like an elf from Lord of the Rings. He stands 6 feet tall, is slender, you muscular and is probably the prettiest man you’ll ever meet. And yes, he has pointy ears.

As a certified Animal Translator, Wini, travels from farm to farm chatting with the livestock to make sure everything if okay and see if they have any complaints. The animals love him and so do the farmers.

In his spare time, Wini grows a variety of flowers and enjoys vegetarian cooking. He is unmarried, but does have a cat named Rodney and a dog named Periwinkle.


Rocky Road High School

…was that a Ramones song?

The Doclopedia #1,370

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “U”

U is for: Uma Pool

Uma and her sister, Deb have a 9 story tower farm in the south area. They raise a wide variety of melons and squash, mostly for the seeds, which they sell to various other farmers planetwide. The non-seed part of what they raise is sold to hog and cattle farmers as feed.

Besides farming, the Pool sisters are widely known as musicians. With Deb on guitar and Uma on banjo, they play mostly bluegrass music. You can find them at festivals all over the Barsoom Quadrant of Mars.

Uma stands 5′ 11” tall and has short red hair. Her body is covered in tattoos of birds.



The Doclopedia #1,368

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “V”

V is for: Venus

No, not the planet Venus, the cat Venus. She lives in the Bookzilla book store downtown. She is often found asleep either on the front counter or in the window on a big pile of Modern Martian Farmer magazines from 2107.

Venus likes humans and Smart animals, but is a bit standoffish with artificial lifeforms. He favorite snack is PetBest sardine snacks. She prefers light classical music and will yowl and meow if she hears Neo-Disco.

Venus is a 5 year old Martian Green Tabby. She weighs 25 pounds and has yellow eyes.

Support this blog on Patreon:

The Rare and Beautiful Short Branched Itchy Tree Of Potawango Island

…do NOT climb one while you are naked


The Doclopedia #1,369

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “T”

T is for Tatyana Lewis

Out near the Western Rim of Gardener Dome, you’ll find the T. Lewis Goose Ranch. Tatyana and her husband, Ted, raise 6 breeds of geese here. They sell eggs and meat, but also sell geese for pets. They have recently perfected a 7th breed, the Large Martian Pied, a beautiful black & white goose that stands over 5 feet tall.

The Lewis family moved to the dome from Minsk Dome 17 years ago and started raising geese a year later. Tatyana is also a well known artist, working mostly in watercolors.

Tatyana is a 3rd generation Martian. She stands 6’10”, has short gray/blond hair, brown eyes and a Barton-Kloss cyberarm on the left side. She is 47 years old. She and Ted have 4 children and 160 geese.

The Action Packed, But Also Very Touching, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Saucer Men From Neptune

…co-starring her hated enemy, Lemony Fresh Luella

Big Shout out to my Patreon Backers! Thank you!


The Doclopedia #1,368

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “S”

S is for: Sam 15

Sam 15 is the operator of the Gardner Dome Gaming Pub. The Pub is a popular place and has every type of game from traditional card games to boardgames, RPGs and the latest VR games. The pub serves 150 different types of beer and 75 types of wine. The food is simple, but well prepared and tasty.

Sam 15 has owned the pub for the last 9 years and has expanded it twice in that time. A friendly and outgoing cyborg, Sam makes everyone feel welcome. His favorite games are darts, Card Wars, Asteroid Trader and poker. Every year, he hosts the Martian Battle Royal of Poker for charity.

Sam 15 stands 6 feet tall, has no body hair at all, has one green eye and one JunCorp Model 9 cyber-eye and usually dresses in a blue jumpsuit. He is not married.