Teaching Betty To Bop

…wop a loo bop!


The Doclopedia #1,114

The Alphabet: X is for…


…is an earth-like planet located 300 light years from Earth. It orbits a yellow star slightly (2% larger) than our own and is the fourth planet in a system of 10. Like Earth, it has a large moon and plenty of water (65% of the planetary surface). Xorolxee is about 10% larger than Earth.

Xorolxee is a warmer world than ours and teams with life of all sorts. The 4 large continents each have very distinct species that inhabit everything from polar icecaps to steaming jungles to enormous deserts. It is a mystery to scientists that most of the land based lifeforms on Xorolxee are smaller than a small cow. There are no land based lifeforms larger than a water buffalo. The oceans are another matter, because there you will find several lifeforms that could swallow a blue whale in one gulp.

Xorolxee has no sentient lifeforms. There are some indications that civilization existed once, but these await further exploration to prove that.

The Doclopedia #1,115

The Alphabet: Y is for…


…or, as the gnomes refer to him, Yark the Most Dangerous. This is a fitting name for the most accident prone gnome inventor of all time. In his short 40 year life, Yark was responsible for the destruction of a gnomish town (mechanical wheat harvester malfunctioned), a war (clockwork soldiers went berserk), a volcanic eruption (mechanical “mole” could not be controlled) and the sinking of an entire island (sonic ditch digger overloaded). Those are just a few of his many screw ups.

Yark was finally killed by one of his inventions (a magical powered mechanical fruit picker) on a summer day in 1409. Gnomes and other intelligent races celebrated his demise.


The Doclopedia #1,116

The Alphabet: Z is for…

Zally Z. Zmith…

…chose to spell her name that way just to be different. When she turned 18, she had it legally changed to that spelling. She then went on to live a pretty bohemian lifestyle for the next 22 years.

On her 40th birthday, the alien Zigzz invaded earth. They made Zally their Queen because she was the only human with a proper sounding name.


Zally was a benevolent and beloved Queen of All Earth for the next 65 years.


Caution: Blogger May Be Intoxicated!

…heh, heh…”may” be…heh, heh


The Doclopedia #946

Pie!: Summerberry Pie

Oh my, now that hit the spot, that did. Nothing like a nice summerberry pie, is there? Puts me in mind of that time Kree, Sonk and I joined up with those elves and humans on that mad journey to find that wizard staff. Remember that, Kree? Oh my, we traveled so far east we were nearly heading west again! Met those fellows in that inn over in Bagtown, that one that burned down a few years back.

There we were, sitting and eating a spanking fine summerberry pie and drinking a beautiful honey ale, when this great hulking human asks us if we’d like to earn some money and do a bit of traveling. Sonk tell him we might, but what do three humans and three elves…and Red Elves at that…need with three gnomes? Well, the big man tells us they might well be needing some gnomish inventing and engineering when they go off to find the Staff of Heritivus, some high muckity wizard from 500 years ago. Well, being low on funds and hearing they have a Bag of Holding full of building materials & tools, we said that we would indeed accept their offer.

Well, boys, I’m telling you we fought all sorts of creatures, cast mighty spells, went from ruins to ruins, built three bridges, a battering ram, two catapults and a boat before we finally found that bleeding staff! Kree got his arm broken, I got turned to stone twice and Sonk lost half of his right ear. We got paid quite generously, but I’ll be dipped in dragon dung if I’ll ever go out adventuring again.

Now, let’s have another slice of pie and I’ll tell you about the time Tweg and Doolo tried to build a flying ship.”