We Put The Art In Fart!

…but nobody appreciates us


Dog Con 7


Day 16, Con Day 3: In which we see an all goat musical review, indulge in more gaming, eat more food, do more LARPing and perform our annual Old Time Radio show.

11:45 pm

Another quick update of our day.

Breakfast at Waffles From Outer Space.

Saw Abigail & Beatrice, our two dwarf Nigerian goats, in the Critter City All Goat Review matinee show. They were great, as were all of the other 50 or so goats who were part of the show. They danced their caprine hearts out to tunes from Broadway, Disney films, 1950’s rock & roll and more. We were all very proud of our girls.

(Daisy: They were beautiful in their costumes.)
(Sasha: And they danced so wonderfully!)

(Silky: It was great to finally meet them.)

(Flash: Those were my sisters up there!)

(Lulu: If I could have cried, I would have. I remember when they were just babies.)

After the show, we all went off to do more gaming and/or Dealer’s Room cruising. I played a couple of rounds of a card game called Dungeon Poker, which is kind of like regular poker, only you bet attacks and defenses against the other players. If you get killed, you’re outta the game. It was pretty fun.

(Flash: Us critters went to the Animal Amusement Park.)

(Jazz: That was lots of fun. I liked the merry go round.)

Lunch was footlong hotdogs off The Weenie Cart. Pretty damned tasty, they were.

Avis, Grace, Spike and I played in a timed LARP event where tou have exactly 60 minutes to explore a pretty extensive dungeon. We got through 6 rooms, killed 8 monsters, found 5 treasures and none of us died, although spike and I only had 2 hitpoints each left at the end.

At about 4:30 we all went to the DogCon Radio Theater room to get ready for the annual Old Time Radio presentation. We practiced for about an hour and a half, snacking on the delicious spread they always put out.

At 6:00, we started things up. This year’s broadcast was an episode of Max Mystery, Occult Detective. I played Lt. Danby (a cop) and Nigel (a sinister, yet cowardly, butler). Others of our group who acted in the piece were Brian, Caroline, Mary and Ginie. It was a well written and creepy mystery, with a bit of a Lovecraftian flavor.

(Sasha: We were back in our suite by then, so we listened to it. It was really good.)

Right now, I’m taking a short break from a humongous dungeon adventure. The guys running it built this great miniature dungeon and every half hour, they remove a piece of it. It started out 30 feet by 30 feet and it has lost three 3X3 pieces so far. In another hour, they’ll start removing them every 15 minutes. If your character is in a square when it goes, you’re dead. Naturally, this has the 30 remaining players pretty jumpy.

More blogging tomorrow, as we finish off the con.

The Cupcake Elves Hate The Yogurt Gnomes

…it goes back decades.

Partly to restart my writing mojo and partly to update everyone who reads my annual DogCon/CatCon reports, here is what is going on at Casa Cross today.

After being on the loose for several weeks, Flash and Lulu are home. The police and FBI dropped them off last night. Harsh warnings were given. Fortunately, when they got up to Washington State, they found that Uncle Ferdie’s Trained Squirrel Review had relocated to Arizona.

(Lulu: The FBI people were pretty nice to me, especially Agent Mulder.)

(Flash: Man, that totally sucks!)

Flash is in lockdown in his apartment and Joe installed an obedience subroutine in Lulu, so she is behaving, if not contrite. Hell, I don’t even know if a cyborg dog CAN be contrite.

(Lulu: I’ll run my guilt subroutine, Daddy.)

Actually, F & L were never beyond our keeping track of them. Lulu has a built in GPS system and it seems Sasha installed a small tracker in Flash, too.

(Flash: The fuck??)

(Sasha: Yeah, I used a Brakellian micro anal probe while he was asleep.)


Abigail and Beatrice are enjoying their last few weeks of living here before they move off to Texas to be part of the All Goat Review in Critter City next year.

(Abby: I’ve been watching old Fred Astaire & Gene Kelly movies. Also, Busby Berkley, because DAMN!)

Speaking of Abby, she has downloaded the recorded antics (Lulu has built in cameras and somethingbytes of storage) of Flash & Lulu on their crime spree and is editing a gag reel. Flash is not amused.

(Sasha: OCTAbytes, Daddy! Jeez!)

(Flash: Fuck that shit! What about my violated rectum?)

Bea has been helping Sasha down in the DocCave. They’ve set up some sort of laboratory. Joe seems impressed with it, but I’m not allowed anywhere near it. Grace has stated that nothing dangerous or strange better come out of that lab.

(Bea: It’s for the best, Daddy.)

(Flash: YO! Victim of anal probing here!)

(Lulu: I can attempt removal, Flash)

(Flash: Ummm…no, sis, that’s ok.)

I’m told that the lab is to help Sasha with her new online courses from some place called Narbonic Labs. Apparently, she wanted to broaden out into biology & genetics.  Graces edict has been suitably strengthened.

(Sasha: Mom will change her tune when I revive the Dodo or the Tasmanian Tiger or the Passenger Pigeon or whatever.)

(Daisy: Oh yeah, nothing bad can come of this.)

(Abby: I’ll try to be prepared when the hordes of Utahraptors head toward Texas.)

(Sasha: You two are a freakin’ riot. NOT!)

So, there’s my update. As you can see, things are pretty normal around here.

(Flash: Except for my butt!)