Don’t Touch That!

…you touched it anyway, didn’t you?

The “Firsts” Meme

1. Who was your FIRST prom date? A young lady named Stephanie.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? No. Haven’t seen her since graduation, 1972.

3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink? Beer…Hamm’s, I think.

4. What was your FIRST job? Washing cars for the California Highway Patrol at their substation in Yuba City, CA.

5. What was your FIRST car? Metallic blue 1957 Chevy pickup.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today? I don’t text.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? My wife, hoping that she feels better at work today.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs. Landerman

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Richmond, Virginia, 1972, a week after I graduated from high school

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? Danny. Haven’t talked to him since about 1991.

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over? Hell if I know. First grade?

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? My dog, Winker.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? My own, to my first wife, back in 1975.

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Same thing I do first thing every morning…went to the bathroom and took a leak.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Jimi Hendrix, a few months before he died.

16. FIRST tattoo? No tatoos here.

17. First piercing? Left earlobe, 1979

18. First foreign country you’ve been to? Canada…Vancouver, BC…1971

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing? In a theatre? Snow White…1958, Stockton, California.

20. When was your FIRST detention? First week of freshman year. The teacher, a stern old bitch, gave about half the class detention each week.

21. What was the first state you lived in? California

22. Who was your FIRST roommate(s)? My first wife.

23. If you had one wish: I’d come home and find our bedroom chest deep in 100 dollar bills, neatly bundled in $10,000 bundles.

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance? To play the piano.

25. Who do you think will be be next person to post this? I have no idea.


Pixies Come To Deathtown

…originally, the other way ’round, but this is funnier


1) Create a new note and copy this list, including these instructions.
2) X all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating. (Hah! As if.)

(x) 1. Venison
(x) 2. Nettle tea
(x) 3. Huevos rancheros
(x) 4. Steak tartare
( ) 5. Crocodile
( ) 6. Black pudding
(x) 7. Cheese fondue
(x) 8. Carp
(x) 9. Borscht
(x) 10. Baba ghanoush
(x) 11. Calamari
(x) 12. Pho
(x) 13. PB&J sandwich
( ) 14. Aloo gobi
(x) 15. Hot dog from a street cart
( ) 16. Epoisses
(x) 17. Black truffle
(x) 18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
(x) 19. Steamed pork buns
(x) 20. Pistachio ice cream
(x) 21. Heirloom tomatoes
(x) 22. Fresh wild berries
(x) 23. Foie gras
(x) 24. Rice and beans
(x) 25. Brawn, or head cheese
(x) 26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
(x) 27. Dulce de leche
(x) 28. Oysters
(x) 29. Baklava
( ) 30. Bagna cauda
(x) 31. Wasabi peas
(x) 32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
( ) 33. Salted lassi
(x) 34. Sauerkraut
(x) 35. Root beer float
(x) 36. Cognac (bonus if with a fat cigar)
( ) 37. Clotted cream tea
(x) 38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
(x) 39. Gumbo
(x) 40. Oxtail
(x) 41. Curried goat
(x) 42. Whole insects
( ) 43. Phaal
(x) 44. Goat’s milk
(x) 45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
( ) 46. Fugu
(x) 47. Chicken tikka masala
(x) 48. Eel
(x) 49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
(x) 50. Sea urchin
(x) 51. Prickly pear
(x) 52. Umeboshi
(x) 53. Abalone
(x) 54. Paneer
(x) 55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
(x) 56. Spaetzle
(x) 57. Dirty gin martini
(x) 58. Beer above 8% ABV
( ) 59. Poutine
(x) 60. Carob chips
(x) 61. S’mores
(x) 62. Sweetbreads
( ) 63. Kaolin
( ) 64. Currywurst
(x) 65. Durian
(x) 66. Frogs’ legs
(x) 67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears, or funnel cake
( ) 68. Haggis
(x) 69. Fried plantain
(x) 70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
(x) 71. Gazpacho
(x) 72. Caviar and blini
( ) 73. Louche absinthe
( ) 74. Gjetost, or brunost
( ) 75. Roadkill
( ) 76. Baijiu
(x) 77. Hostess Fruit Pie
(x) 78. Snail
(x) 79. Lapsang souchong
( ) 80. Bellini
(x) 81. Tom yum
(x) 82. Eggs Benedict
(x) 83. Pocky
( ) 84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
(x) 85. Kobe beef
(x) 86. Hare
(x) 87. Goulash
(x) 88. Edible_flowers
( ) 89. Horse
( ) 90. Criollo chocolate
(x) 91. Spam
(x) 92. Soft shell crab
( ) 93. Rose harissa
(x) 94. Catfish
(x) 95. Mole poblano
(x) 96. Bagel and lox
(x) 97. Lobster Thermidor
(x) 98. Polenta
( ) 99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
(x) 100. Snake

The 32 Things You Can Do With A Cup Of Soup And A Norfolk Terrier

…assuming the terrier knows how to sit and roll over

That Top 50 TV Show Meme

As always, I mock all of the bolding, underlining and strikeovering and insert my pithy comments.

50. Quantum Leap (Watched it semi-regularly. Pretty good show)
49. Prison Break (I’ve never seen it.)
48. Veronica Mars (Never watched it)
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (I watched the first couple of seasons religiously, then watched it semi-regularly)
46. Sex & The City (I’ve seen maybe two episode)
45. Farscape (Watched maybe 8 episodes spread out over 2-3 seasons)
44. Cracker (Nope)
43. Star Trek (Oh yeah, you betcha. I remember seeing the first episode back in the ’60s)
42. Only Fools and Horses (Huh? Never heard of it)
41. Band of Brothers (nope)
40. Life on Mars (Nope. Doesn’t even sound interesting to me.)
39. Monty Python’s Flying Circus (Oh hell yes.)
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm (Nope)
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation (Watched it every week. Liked it better than TOS, especially once Roddenberry was out of the picture)
36. Father Ted (Nope)
35. Alias (Nope)
34. Frasier (I think I saw 3 episodes.)
33. CSI: Las Vegas (Watch it every week, altho now that Grissom is gone…)
32. Babylon 5 (Saw maybe 4 episodes. Thought it was a yawnfest.)
31. Deadwood (Saw 4 episode. Not a bad show.)
30. Dexter (Nope)
29. ER (Saw the first episode)
28. Fawlty Towers (You betcha. John Cleese rules!)
27. Six Feet Under (Nope)
26. Red Dwarf (Watched 3 episodes. Was not impressed.)
25. Futurama (It was ok, but it was no Simpsons.)
24. Twin Peaks (Watched it and liked it, tho the ending kinda blew.)
23. The Office (Nope)
22. The Shield (Nope)
21. Angel (Saw a few episodes. It was ok.)
20. Blackadder (Oh yes. First couple of series were the best)
19. Scrubs (Nope)
18. Arrested Development (nope)
17. South Park (Used to watch it every week. Very funny.)
16. Doctor Who (Watch when we get the Sci-Fi Channel. Watch DVDs of older episodes.)
15. Heroes (Have yet to miss an episode, but they are beginning to bore me.)
14. Firefly (I have now seen 4 episodes…and I still think it sucks.)
13. Battlestar Galactica (Have never seen it. Not really interested, but might try it on DVD)
12. Family Guy (Watch it once in a while. Pretty funny)
11. Seinfeld (Saw maybe 7 episodes. Was unimpressed.)
10. Spaced (Never heard of it.)
09. The X-Files (Watched every episode. When it was good, it rocked. When it was bad, you could hear flies buzzing.)
08. The Wire (Nope
07. Friends (Saw about a dozen episodes. It was ok, I guess.)
06. 24 (Have never watched it)
05. Lost (Watched all the first season and half of the second, then said fuck it.)
04. The West Wing (Nope)
03. The Sopranos (Saw maybe 6 episodes, but I liked them.
02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Watched first 2 seasons, then slowly lost interest.)
01. The Simpsons (Don’t watch it like I used to, but it is still a very funny show. DOH!)

At Times Like This, We Need Dancing Elks

…and maybe a crooning moose

Not feeling very writerish lately, but here’s a meme to amuse y’all.

The Dice Meme

Do you re-roll cocked dice? Yes
Do you re-roll floor dice? Yes
Do you roll where everyone can see it? Not always. Some info is privy to the GM only, plus, sometimes you have to fudge die rolls.
Do you feel betrayed by your dice when they roll poorly? Sometimes, when I think they are doing it out of spite.
Do you have a favorite type of die? What is it? Probably the d20 or the d10.
Do you have different dice for different functions? No
Do you have different dice for different games? No, not really
Do you have more of a single type of die than the others? What is it? Yes, d6’s outnumber all of the others.
Do you have FUDGE dice? Yes, lots of them in every color they come in.
Do you have scatter dice? Yep, of several different types.
Do you let other people touch your dice? Yep
Do you have dice superstitions? What are they? Nope
Do you buy more dice even though you don’t need them? Oh hell yes! I have ton of dice, because I’m a diceaholic. In fact, back in the ’90s, I wrote a piece for The Familiar all about my tragic addiction.
What’s your favorite die? My black d100
If you were to put custom symbols on a die what would they be? Either pornographic pictures or dogs.
Do you have dice made of anything particularly different than normal? What? I have a wooden die or two.
What do you keep your dice in? Several custom made dice bags, including one with my name on it that a now deceased friend made for me.
Do you have more than one dice container? See answer above.
Do you keep dice in your pocket? Your glovebox? Your workplace? Nope
If you have a partner that games, do you have separate dice? Yep
Do you have any of the first dice you bought or received? I have ALL of the first dice I ever bought, way back in 1976.
Do you play certain games just because they have you roll lots of dice? Nope
Do you love your dice? How much? Except for a few moments of drunken indiscretion, no.

A Late Dinner With Mr. Rabbitface

…and Gus the Blue Monkey

A Meme (as seen on more than one other LJ)

1. Favorite food? Mexican or Thai
2. Favorite fast food? Tacos or Chili Dogs
3. Favorite car? For just driving around or cruising? 1957 Chevy Pickup For going fast and looking cool? 1969 Corvette
4. Favorite animal? The Canids
5. Favorite pet? Daisy and Winker
6. Favorite holiday? My Birthday
7. Favorite season? Summer
8. Favorite jewelry? I guess my ONLY bit of jewelry: the emerald stud in my left ear that is my “wedding ring”. Grace wears its mate.
9. Favorite flower? Passionflower
10. Favorite drink (alcoholic)? Guinness
11. Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)? Tea, you betcha
12. Favorite clothing? Jeans, T-shirt, no shoes
13. Favorite book? Damned if I know. Something by Doctor Seuss?
14. Favorite movie? The original 1932 version of King Kong.
15. Favorite actor/actress? Harrison Ford? Sigourney Weaver?
16. Favorite TV show? Of all time? Probably X-Files On the air now? Good Eats
17. Favorite singer/band? Impossible to answer this one.
18. Favorite color? Black or Green.
19. Favorite place? Physically? California Otherwise? In my own head.
21. Favorite sport? I hate big money team sports. I guess maybe…curling.
22. Favorite candy? Dark chocolate
23. Favorite hobby? Well, leaving aside perennial #1 Sex, I’d say gardening or gaming.
24. Favorite way to relax? Oh jeez…hugging my sweetie…wrasslin’ my dogs…shooting the shit with my friends…watching crappy old Grade Z horror and sci-fi flicks.
25. Favorite memory? Way too many to choose from!

Scarlet Dreams

…on a sleepless night

Ok, so maybe the shit that needs fixing around here will have to wait until Our Adventure In Poverty comes to an end.

Time to switch to Plan B: Go buy groceries, then mess around in the garden before commencing the househusbandry.

But first, the Significant Other Meme (ganked from delazan)

1. They are watching TV. What are they watching? One of the CSI variants, Fringe, Bones or maybe Supernatural
2. You’re out to eat. What kind of dressing do they get on their salad? Italian
3. What’s one food this person doesn’t like? What’s one food this person could not live without? Peas/Chicken
4. You go out to the bar. He/she orders… In the 13 years we have been together, she has consumed alcohol 5 times. Each time, it was a whiskey sour.
5. Where did he/she go to high school? Mostly, in Modesto, CA
6. What size shoe do they wear? Beats the hell outta me, but compared to my size 12EEEE’s, they’re pretty small.
7. If this person were to collect anything, it would be… books, you betcha!
8. What is their favorite type of sandwich? Prime rib from our local Jewish deli
9. This person could eat ______ everyday. Pie
10. Favorite cereal? Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries or Cocoa Pebbles
11. This person wouldn’t be caught dead wearing? Jewelry or sports related stuff
12. Favorite sports team? Like me, she hates pro sports, but she does really like Olympic gymnastics
13. Who will he/she vote for? Despite being a Green Party member, she’s voting for Obama
14. What is their sign? Leo
15. What is something you do that he/she wishes you didn’t? Talk so loudly/make “danger noises”
16. How many states has this person lived in? Four
17. What is his/her heritage? Predominantly German, Irish & English.
18. You bake them a cake for their birthday. What kind do you bake? Cheesecake
19. Did he/she play sports in high school? No
20. This person could spend hours… Discussing alternative medicine.
21. He/She wants a new… Computer
22. The CD I would probably find in their vehicle is… Something by ABBA, or maybe some Celtic music collection
23. What can you do that will guarantee a laugh from him/her? Too many things to list
24. Does he/she get along well with their family? Absolutely not. She disowned them years ago.
25. If money wasn’t an option, I would buy him/her… Everything she’s ever wanted…and pie.

A Last Long Kiss Before Fading Away

…she did the fade, he stayed behind

Five Lives Meme (ganked from em_gumby)

If you had five other lives to lead, what would you do in each of them?

1: Naturalist/zoologist
2: Professional thief (jewels and cash, most likely)
3: Farmer with an organic sustainable farm
4: Masked vigilante in the Shadow/Spider mold
5: Father

Today was a lower key day than I expected it to be. Grace stayed home to get some much needed sleep and to put in extra lab time at school. I mostly just amused dogs and did household stuff.

More blogging in a couple of hours, after dinner and stuff.