Day 2: In which we check out some monsters, the cheekiness of jackrabbits is discussed and Auntie Avis bakes pies.
Day 2 of our trip found us in Kingman, Arizona, where we visited the newly renamed and upgraded “Monsters Of The Desert!” Years ago, desert sculptors with time on their hands built something goofy and big, a kind of octopoid looking alien creature with three eyes. But in the last couple of years, they’ve added 5 new Monsters, so naturally we had to check it out.
(Silky: This was my pick of where to visit, folks.)
One of these monsters looks sort of like a giant praying mantis made out of stainless steel, crushed glass, plaster and about 15 colors of paint. It stands across from two 30 foot tall creatures made of old plastic milk jugs, flattened tin cans and some sort of plastic foam. They look like crazed yetis.
(Daisy: Real yetis are much scarier. Flash & Leon once poked one with a stick It was not amused.)
(Leon: No shit! That damned thing chased us 3 miles! It was wicked pissed off.)
Then there is the winged triceratops creature that uses an old school bus as the basis for it’s body, then added on tons of plumbing fixtures. Finally, there is “Ograntor!”, a 75 foot tall giant ape/ant/platypus thing built out of concrete, steel and what looks like about 6 months worth of the empty booze bottles from Las Vegas.
(Sasha: Hmmm…giant apes…hmmm.)
(Leon: You are crazy, Sasha!)
(Sasha: What part of “mad scientist” confuses you, cathead?)
We wandered around for about 90 minutes, because what the signs along the highway don’t tell you is that while there are only 6 giant monsters, there are over 150 smaller ones scattered about, some no bigger than my fist. Some can move a bit and have motion detectors built in, so they only move when you get close. This startled some of our group.
(Daisy: HAHAHA! One of them scared Sasha so much, she pooped!)
The whole place is surrounded by high chainlink fence, too keep out vandals. Our critters discovered that the local jackrabbits like to hang out just on the other side of the fence. They do not seem to fear human, yowling cats or barking dogs.
(Leon: Open up that fence and we’ll see who’s laughing.)
(Silky: One of those cheeky little bastards peed in front of Sasha and I when we barked at him.)
(Daisy: They called us rude names!)
(Sasha: We’ll see how fuckin’ smug they are when my flying monkeys come for them.)
Before leaving, we stopped off at the concession stand for Desert Monster Dogs, which were delicious foot long hot dogs. I had two with chili. We also drank Monster Shakes, which were both tasty and large.
(Daisy: Oh, baby, those were tasty hot dogs!)
We got back on the bus and dimension hopped over to a Hawaii that never had humans settle there. Most likely, this was because it is a popular place with the Megalodons, Giant Octopi and the Rocs that live up in the mountains and prey upon the Megalodons & Giant Octopi. It’s a peaceful place, if you’re not one of those three species.
(Leon: Humans pick insane places to go! Those Rocs were enormous!)
(Daisy: I know, right? They had like a 400 foot wingspan!)
(Silky: One of them grabbed a 65 foot shark like it was a goldfish!)
(Sasha: Eh, could have been worse. Could have been dragons.)
Anyway, being way too small to eat, we mostly hung out on the beach or wandered around in the bus. It was while wandering through the greenhouse that Avis and Silky found several blueberry bushes loaded with ripe fruit. After picking a bunch of them, Avis told us all that we’d be having blueberry pie for dessert tonight.
(Silky: we may have eaten a pound or so as we were picking.)
Sure enough, when the rest of us came in, the bus was filled with the delicious smell of fresh baked pies. After a dinner of steak, potatoes, spinach and rolls, I got a gallon of French Vanilla ice cream out of the Ice Cream Closet and we had blueberry pie ala mode. Totally yummy! You did well, Auntie Avy.
(Daisy: Auntie Avy, Queen of Pie!)
Once we were all stuffed with pie & ice cream, we got out the dice and I ran Grace, Avis, Spike, Mary, Daisy & Silky through “The Megadungeon of Horrible Doom!” Much fun was had, even when Spike rolled two critical fumbles and fell into a pit full of Snot Goblins.
While we played D&D, Sasha & Leon were playing a new video game called “Assault Of The Robodemons”, which is part RPG, part shooter. Judging from all the yelling, they enjoyed it.
Now it’s time for bed, Gentle Readers. More fun & frivolity tomorrow.
Destination Sign when we started: Mirkwood
Destination Sign when we ended: Camelot
Radio Station of the Day: Duck Rock Live From DuckEarth 5