Is Your Steamer Duck Getting Enough Mental Stimulation?

…if not, try giving them crossword puzzles

365 DAYS, 365 POSTS #14


Movies I REALLY Want To See

Doctor Strange: Everything I’ve seen and heard about this movie tells me it is going to rock. I know they probably won’t go as visually trippy as Steve Ditko did in the early years of the comic, but even halfway will be cool enough. Cumberbatch looks good and despite them keeping a tight lid on it, you just know Mads Mikkelson is going to play Dormmamu.

The Next American Godzilla Movie: I really liked the first one and I’m ready to see him fight and/or team up with Rodan or Mothra.

Pacific Rim 2: Especially if they can fit Godzilla into it, but if they can’t I’ll still be there to watch the Jaegers kick kaiju ass.

The Next James Bond Movie: I don’t care if they cast Mel Brooks as Bond (which would be hilarious), I’ll go see it. I’ve seen every one of them since Dr. No and I’m not gonna stop any time soon. By the way, I think Idris Elba would make a great James Bond.

Wonder Woman: Because it’s about fucking time. The trailer looks good and I like that a woman is directing it.

Harry, The Armadillo Who Traveled The World

…and he had the passport to prove it


The Doclopedia #962

Movies Not Of This Earth: Quiet Kill (Metro Goldberg Myer, 1998)

In 1995, neophyte director Bethany Collins became disgusted with all of the gun violence in movies and decided to make a very violent action film with not a single gunshot or explosion. The result was “Quiet Kill”, a movie that got heaped with both praise and condemnation. It also made a big heap of money, moving it to the #7 slot on the top ten moneymaking films list. Oh, yeah, it also won 4 Golden Globe, 5 Academy Awards and a basket full of other awards.

The movie opens with scenes of several men and women (all portrayed by top action movie stars) lovingly cleaning their favorite guns. As the narrator tells us who each one of them is, we see them suddenly collapse into unconsciousness.

When they wake up, they are all shackled to the wall of a warehouse, where a man in a mask tells them that they are in an abandoned industrial town in a very remote location. The town is surrounded by landmines of a particularly deadly nature, so escape is only possibly by airlift. He then tells them that in 5 minutes, they and 30 criminally insane killers will be released from the shackles and the object will be to kill everyone else and be the sole survivor. The winner will get top medical aid, if needed, and 100 million dollars.

The big catch is that there are no guns in the town and the whole place is wired with microphones. If any noise reaches a certain decibel level, a small nuclear device will be triggered, destroying the town and everything around it.

The masked man is airlifted out by a blimp and then the shackles open. There are many sorts of weapons scattered around the town and soon the killings are going on full tilt. The film runs two hours long and for 105 minutes of that there is no sound louder than a person speaking at normal levels. The killings are creative, bloody and graphic, all of which got a great deal of protest from various camps. The fact that the masked man called guns “the killing tool of choice for idiots” got the NRA bitching. Still, the film got great reviews for being innovative, well acted and well shot. People flocked to see it and it made money.

This film is available on Blu-ray and DVD from

The Secret Files Of Sherlock Holmes

… if you thought “Thr Giant Rat of Sumatra” was weird, wait’ll ya read these

Yes, I have some website related plans for things Holmesian.

So far, today is off to a really slow start for me. Grace is out mystery shopping her butt off, The Girls are having their Pre-Park Walk Nap and I’m still waking up. Part of my lethargy I attribute to a pretty sore facial sunburn that I got in the UVB booth yesterday after forgetting to bring in a towel to coner my face during the 7+ minutes I was baking. Stupid me. Still, I should be ok by this evening. Sunburns don’t trouble me for very long.

We watched “Watchmen” again Thursday night and I still think they did a good job adapting it. Pity that the “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” movie couldn’t have been done by the same director.

And now, I’m off to shower and then stroll with my bitches.

Walking Through The Bacon Tree Forest

…where you get hungry every 15 minutes

Geek Media Update

1: The latest “Twilight” movie is out. Millions of pre-teen and teen girls experience orgasm.

2: The new version of “V” is losing viewers with each episode. That would be because is sucks.

3: The new version of “The Prisoner” is getting mixed reviews from various of my geek friends. Not being able to see it myself, I’ll wait for it to come to Netflix.

4: “Fringe” is still one of the best new shows on TV. Hopefully, this will continue to be so for many years.

5: “Heroes”, from the few scenes I’ve watched this year, is still in a screaming death dive.

6: “Planet 51” looks like it will be pretty funny. I might have to rob a bank so I can go see it.

Are Two Women Aged 20 The Equal Of One Woman Aged 40?

…I think not, but I’d really have to try all three:)

Ugh! Slept for shit last night due to going to bed at 1 AM and then being awakened 4 times throughout the night. Winker woke me twice, Grace woke me once and that middle aged need to get up and take a leak got me once. It’s gonna be a long day.

In the nearly inevitable other news, I’ve decided to re-read books I’ve only read once or haven’t read in at least 25-30 years. First up is The Hobbit, followed by The Lord Of The Rings. I’ve only read them once, back in late September 1976, while I was waiting to get out of the Navy. Thanks to some creative thinking and decisive action, I managed to have 10 days with nothing to do before I got out on October 4, so among other things, I read those books. It will be interesting to read them again at a more leisurely pace (I read them in 4 days flat the first time) and with movie images now firmly burned into my brain.

In final news, I still have not watched Doctor Horrible’s Sing Along Blog yet. Will do that tonight.

It’s All Fun & Games Until Vegetable Oil Goes Sticky

…don’t ask

Last night, I took My Sweet Little Chocolate Frog Of Love to see Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince. We both enjoyed it, despite the fact that they had to compress and cut parts of the original story in order to avoid a 5 hour movie. They did capture most of the feel of the book and the alternating between ominous and funny worked pretty well. Not my favorite of the movies, but still quite worth seeing.

We saw several trailers before the movie. The best of all was the one for the new Sherlock Holmes, starring Robert Downey Jr as the Great Detective. Looks very interesting and action packed. I told Grace that it should be titled Sherlock Homes, Consulting Asskicker due to the fight scenes.

There was also a trailer for 2012, the new end of the world flick from the same guy who directed The Day After Tomorrow. It lost me when it began, talking about the Mayans as the “world’s first great civilization”. Yeah, cos the Chinese, the Romans, the Greeks, the Egyptians and about 100 others just didn’t do anything great. Also, I’m pretty much done with end of the world movies, especially those based on mystic shit.

Now, Uncle Doc must be hitting the road for several mystery shopping adventures. More blogging later.