Video Actually Helped Fake The Killing Of The Radio Star

…the radio star needed to avoid paying alimony

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The Doclopedia #1,548

My Evil Twin: Malace K. Rhynnrats (thanks to Mark Schynert)

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Mark Schynert has an evil twin who is evil in a very specific way. You see, Mark handles scheduling games for a game convention, and his evil twin Malace K. Rhynnrats does everything he can to make that job as difficult as possible.

He will send in fake GM requests to run games then later cancel them just before the con, cause GMs to miss the con, mess with Mark’s computer, and a host of other things. Mark is pretty good at spotting most of these annoying sabotages, but Malace keeps on trying. One of these days, Mark is just going to find him and clock him upside the head with a 9 pound bag of dice.

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The Doclopedia #1,549

My Evil Twin: Alphonse Gilberto Rafilio (thanks to Peter Hildreth)

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Alphonse Gilberto Rafilio is a rogue, a cad, a scalawag and a seducer of wealthy women whom he later abandons. He has done this all across North America and Europe. His trail of broken hearts is long and his trail of women that want to kill him is almost as long.

Which is why poor Peter Hildreth, a nice married guy and grandfather, keeps having to calm down angry women who assault him by showing them the one thing that shows the difference between him and Alphonse: The fact that Peter does NOT have a winking fox tattooed on his left breast.

This also explains why peter has taken to not wearing undershirts ans wears shirts with snaps, not buttons.
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Monster Baby Defense Force A

…more fake anime
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The Doclopedia #1,546

My Evil Twin: Caitlyn Cooper (thanks to Catherine Ford)

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Cathy Ford is a hard working woman living in Sacramento with her two dogs and her husband. She is a fine, law abiding citizen.

Her evil twin, Caitlyn Cooper is a whole different item. She’s an international jewel thief who has pulled off some of the boldest heists in history. She’s the one who stole 1.5 billion dollars worth of uncut diamonds from 7 different diamond dealers in Amsterdam in a single night. That ruby the size of a goose egg that was on it’s way to an auction in London? Stolen in mid-air over the Atlantic Ocean! She’s good at her job, Caitlyn is.

Of course, every time she steals anything, she makes sure to get her face recorded on a security camera, which causes the authorities to bring Cathy in for questioning. Nothing ever comes of it, but causing Cathy trouble makes Caitlyn happy.

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The Doclopedia #1,547

My Evil Twin: Ian Michael Patrick Finnerty (thanks to Mark Ford)

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Mark Ford is a hard working man living in Sacramento with his two dogs and his wife. He is a fine, law abiding citizen.

But Mark has an evil twin! Well, maybe not full on evil, but Ian Michael Patrick Finnerty is certainly a first class asshole. Known to his friends, what few he has, as “Mickey Finn”, Ian is a drunk, a lecher, a petty thief, a bully and a mooch. He owes money to more people than he can count and that’s not counting the child support he owes on 9 children by 5 wives. There are at least 7 more children out there, but those women haven’t gone after him. Yet.

Every once in a while Ian tries to borrow money from Mark. Mark says no, Ian gets up in his face and Mark knocks him on his ass. That tends to keep Ian away for a year or two.

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An Unexpected Ernie

…Ernie Boldfoot, a fine hobbit
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The Doclopedia #1,544

My Evil Twin: Jack Tempest (thanks to William Reger)

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William Reger isn’t really sure who Jack Tempest is or why he looks so much like him, but he really wishes he’s stop sending him snakes…LIVE snakes…in the mail.

It’s gotten so bad that William had a special pick up box installed on his porch so Animal Control can just come and pick up the weekly box full of snakes. So far, they’ve picked up 378 snakes.

But here’s the really strange thing: None of the snakes Jack mails are poisonous. Some aren’t even big enough to give much of a bite at all. This has lead law enforcement to conclude that Jack Tempest is either dumb as hell or crazy.

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The Doclopedia #1,545

My Evil Twin: Mots Skifalra (thanks to Tom Rafalski)

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If you ask Tom Rafalski about his evil twin, he can tell you all about him. He’ll tell you how Mots Skifalra is a cunning madman, handsome and debonair, but evil through and through. He can show you the threatening letters, the photos of Tom full of stab holes, even the bottle of poisoned soda that Mots once set him. Tom can tell you that his life is in danger every day from his evil twin.

The very tragic truth is that Mots killed Tom years ago on his first try, then assumed his identity. His joy turned to sadness when he realized that with Tom gone, he had nobody to plot against and that Mots Skifalra was now dead. It pushed him over the brink and he started this whole “Mots is out to get me” thing.

A very sad story, I’m sure you’ll agree.

It’s All Fun And Games Until Your Butt Falls Off

…thank goodness for super glue
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The Doclopedia #1,542

My Evil Twin: !MAJKS (thanks to Scott Jamison)

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So one day, Scott Jamison thinks, “I’ll build a robot twin of me, then use it to do stuff I don’t want to do, like go to work and clean the cat’s litter box.” Not a bad idea, really, except that Scott’s robot making skills were less that great. Oh, sure, the robot, designated !MAJKS, looked just like Scott, but it had faulty programming and a real attitude problem.

After a day of having !MAJKS try to kill him and throw a full litter box at him, Scott watched as the robot grabbed his favorite clothing and ran off into the night.

Since then, he and the robot have had several encounters. !MAJKS usually wins, but last time, Scott knocked one of his robotic eyes out and cut of a finger. !MAJKS will not forget that!

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The Doclopedia #1,543

My Evil Twin: Keith Ecir (thanks to Kevin Rice)

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While Kevin Rice is a nice, ordinary guy, his evil twin, Keith Ecir, is a true monster. No, not like a serial killer or pedophile. He’s a werewolf!

Now, we aren’t talking some poor tortured guy like Lawrence Talbot in the Wolf Man movies starring Lon Chaney Jr. No, Keith Ecir LIKES being a werewolf and killing and eating people. He can do it any night of the month, full moon be damned.

Keith Ecir would REALLY like to kill and eat Kevin Rice, but something stops him from doing it. He seems to get this vague feeling that Kevin’s flesh and blood, even a tiny bit of it, might kill him in a fast and horrible manner. For now, he’ll just keep on killing and eating other people.

A Box Full Of Weasels

…mean weasels
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The Doclopedia #1,540

My Evil Twin: Dlanor Von Kloy (thanks to Ron Wm Hurlbut)

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This one is just tragic, folks, because Ron doesn’t even have an evil twin. He just sometimes pots on a wig and dresses up in fancy disco attire and calls himself Count Dlanor Van Kloy. Then he heads off to a local nightclub and tells anyone who will listen how he hates “that common worm” Ron Wm Hurlbutt and will soon enact an evil revenge plot against him.

All the folks in the nightclub know who Dlanor really is, but they like Ron, so they don’t spoil things for him.
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The Doclopedia #1,541

My Evil Twin: Kalandra Mirdain (thanks to Melinda Maru)

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Kalandra Mirdain is who Melinda Maru would be if she had been born on Earth 597-J to a family of Dark Elves who were just total assholes. Such assholes, in fact, that during a family argument, Kalandra got banished to our Earth for 50 years.

Being what professional mental health folks like to call “crazy as a fucking loon”, Kalandra thinks that if she kills Melinda, it will get her back home before the 50 years is up. Sadly for her, but luckily for Melinda, all of the attempts to kill Melinda go spectacularly wrong and seriously mess up Kalandra.

Melinda is blissfully unaware of both her evil twin and the attacks.

Doc Tempest And The Subway Phantom

…from the April, 1948 issue
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Ooh, look, a shiny new Doclopedia theme!

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The Doclopedia #1,538

My Evil Twin: Haras Nivel (thanks to Sarah Lyon)

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Haras Nivel would be Sarah Levins identical twin, if that pot of hot potato soup she planned on throwing on Sasra had not bounced off a tree and hit her in the face.

Now scarred, missing most of the hair on the right side of her head and possessed of a mortal fear of soups, Haras spends her days and nights locked in her small cabin, trying to decide who has wronged her the most: Sarah, soup, pots or trees. It’s a sad situation, really.

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The Doclopedia #1,539

My Evil Twin: Ravyn Wyng (thanks to Anna Dobritt)

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The woman known as Rayvn Wing (born Raven Wing, but that name wasn’t cool and edgy enough), is supposed to be Anna Dobritt’s evil twin. We say “supposed to be”, because Rayvn is really more of just a naughty twin, mostly due to her feelings of guilt if she does anything really bad. She once ordered 5 large pizzas to be sent to Anna’s home, but ended up meeting the driver there and paying for them. About the worst thing she does is draw ugly faces on the outside walls of Anna’s house using a wet erase marker.

Adventure Module Y-1: Attack Of The Gopher People

…the first of a trilogy

 

The Doclopedia #810

My Evil Twin: Edmund    (Edmund Metheny)

The Evil Twin of Edmund Metheny is Edmund Metheny, a humorless S.O.B. who fell trough an interdimensional rift into our universe. This dominating, cruel and heartless scumbag is the band of Edmund’s existence. In addition, Evil Twin Ed has no facial hair, hates playing any sort of games and thinks all things geeky suck. That really chaps Original Ed’s ass, so he has determined to get Evil Twin Ed out of the picture.

Step one of Ed’s plan is to get Evil Twin Ed involved in some criminal activity so he can end up going to prison. Step two will be to then smuggle an interdimensional rift opener into the prison and use it to send ETE back to his own reality, or at least one other than this one. Exactly where OE will get an interdimensional rift opener has not been determined yet.

Anyway, step one is going well, with certain gamer friends of OE having gotten ETE in on a scam selling property in a place called Katan. ETE is all for selling nonexistent vacation property to rubes if the money is right, which it sure enough is. What he doesn’t know is that his “business partners” have trashed their fake identities, put everything in his name and called the FBI in to bust his ass. Any day now, they’ll slap the cuffs on him.

Meanwhile, OE and his geek buddies think that they may know how to build an interdimensional rift opener, if they can just find a 1958 Cadillac, 34 microwave ovens and a life size statue of Elvis made completely out of copper.

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The Doclopedia #811

My Evil Twin: Lorac    (Carol Robinson)

Who could have guessed that Lorac the Unspeakable, one of the 5 Most Terribly Fearsome Wizards Of All Time (number four if you don’t count Ferzif The Half-Dead, and many didn’t) was the Evil (and in this case, Evil is not just a cute term) Twin of Carol Robinson, an typical suburban homeowner? Well, nobody could, really, especially Lorac and Carol.

So, when Lorac was banished to our world with only a tiny fraction of her normal magical powers, She was really pissed off. Finding out that the version of her that lived here was, in Lorac’s words, “a powerless nobody”, only pissed her off more. In fact, it pissed her off enough that she cast the Spell of Proximity Cancellation. That spell causes Carol to disappear if Lorac gets within 100 miles of her. Fortunately, she reappears somewhere else outside the100 mile zone, but it’s a huge pain in the ass to deal with and if Lorac hangs around, Carol has to find a place to stay for the duration.

One bright side to Carol’s plight is that she recently found out that she and Lorac are kinda sorta linked on the psychic level. Specifically, if Carol concentrates hard enough, she can cause Lorac to have the uncontrollable urge to pee. So far, Lorac has found her plans to dominate our world confounded by a near total lack of bladder control. Really, it’s pretty hard to intimidate the UN when you suddenly wet yourself in mid-threat.

Meanwhile, Carol has taken to carrying an overnight bag with her at all times, as well as enough money for a long bus ride.

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The Doclopedia #812

My Evil Twin: Elise   (Lisa Alber)

Many of us have tried to lose weight, with varying degrees of success both in the losing and in the keeping it off. Lisa was no different, so she tried to be a healthy eater and get some exercise. Mostly, she did ok, but then there would be a party or something and there would be sweets and the next thing you know her pants were getting tight again. It could get discouraging.

Just to make things worse for Lisa, her Evil Twin, Elise, blew into town. Elise was thin and looked good in any sort of clothing. Even worse, she could eat an entire rack of custard filled donuts and not gain a friggin’ ounce! Oh, how Lisa hated her. Actually, pretty much every woman who knew Elise hated her. Several men did, too. Let’s face it, skinny bitches don’t get much love from chubby folks.

From time to time, Elise will leave town to go do modeling in Paris or someplace. These trips are pretty much the only thing stopping her from being lynched. Meanwhile, Lisa and the other non-skinny folks keep eating their salads, hitting the gym and talking smack about that cake eating twit, Elise.