…on the Magic Bus
The Doclopedia #1,118
A Child’s Book Of…: Necromancy
From the introduction: “Hello, child! If you have found this book, it means that you are VERY SPECIAL. Do you know what makes you special? Why, it’s your ability to do MAGIC! You are not like other people, oh no. You are MUCH BETTER than they are!
This book was especially written for somebody like you. If you study it, you will learn how to do some VERY SPECIAL things, like bring dead pets and friends back to life or make bad people die and become your ZOMBIE SLAVES. Wouldn’t that be fun?
This book will teach you how to do many interesting spells. You’ll learn RITUALS, POTION MAKING and ENCHANTMENT. This will let you do things that your friends and family will think are AMAZING. By the time you have studied the first twelve chapters, you will be a POWERFUL NECROMANCER.
The thirteenth chapter is called THE RITUAL OF RECALLING A LICH and you will use it to recall me, Dranill Woxinon, from a terrible place called the OUTER DARKNESS. After that, we will be the best of FRIENDS! Won’t that be nice?
Now, you must remember to hide this book from your family and friends. They would become jealous of you and try to take it away. Hide the book well, and soon we will start teaching you your first spell, ANIMATE SKELETON.”