The Funky Chickens Buy A Hot Rod

…and go off on another wacky road trip.

 

The Doclopedia #603

A New Breed Of Dog: Northern Squirrel Dog

In many parts of Canada, hunting squirrels is a popular pastime with rural folks. That’s why, sometime around 1890, a group of hunters started looking for a way to breed a type of dog that could climbe trees and flush the squirrels into the open. Needing a small and energetic dog, they started with Chihuahuas. Soon, they incorporated some Terriers and before long, they had their dog. Slightly longer in body than a Chihuahua and with a longer tail and broader feet, the Northern Squirrel Dog has strong legs and long sharp claws. These claws and legs, along with a weight of no more than 4 pounds, allow the dogs to run up most trees almost as fast as squirrels do. Once up in the tree, the dogs bark constantly while leaping from limb to limb. They are trained to chase the squirrels to the end of a limb, but stay at least 3 feet back, so as to avoid getting shot.

The medium length coat of Northern Squirrel Dogs is always black, for visibility, especially during times of early snow. When not hunting, these little dogs are very happy to be lap dogs.

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The Doclopedia #604

A New Breed Of Dog: Panda Pup

The Panda Pup is an wildly popular lap dog that was bred up from various small dogs to have a fluffy black and white coat that, when properly cut, makes them look like a tiny panda. They were not developed in China, but in Southern California.

Weighing in at around 8 pounds, the Panda Pup has a playful and friendly personality. They love to play and do best when they have children or other animals to play with. Most owners describe them as “clowns” and “always up to something”. Their park is deeper than you might expect and has a soft “woof” sound.

They have a fairly high intelligence and are very easy to train. They also seem to prefer a litter box for a bathroom, therefore making them one of the easier breeds to clean up after.

Mr. Porkwaffle Goes To The Barber

…and is aghast when he finds out it’s a woman

 

The Doclopedia #601

 A New Breed Of Dog: Teleporting Terrier

On Earth 83, many creatures have strange powers and the friendly little Teleporting Terrier is one of them. Weighing in at only 15 pounds and standing just 8 inches tall, these wire haired little dogs can teleport themselves up to 20 feet in whatever direction they are looking. This makes them both a very sought after hunting dog and a very challenging pet.

With their little upright ears, happy faces and light brown coats, these dogs are bound to capture people’s hearts. However, prospective owners should know that all that natural terrier energy, plus the teleporting power, can lead to many problems unless the dog is well trained at a young age. Fortunately, this is easy to do.

Contrary to popular belief, they cannot teleport through windows or into closed rooms or refrigerators. They can only teleport in a clear and unobstructed line of sight. Usually, this line of sight puts them on a human lap or near a piece of food. If left alone and unsupervised, it can put them on shelves or counters or large appliances, all places where they can get up to no good.

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The Doclopedia #602

A New Breed Of Dog: Kobold Riding Dog

On several fantasy worlds, Kobolds are a race with distinct canine features. On some of these worlds, the Kobolds have bred large dogs as riding animals.

Kobold Riding Dogs have a wolfish appearance, but are longer legged and lighter framed than wolves. They can run full speed for well over an hour and require only a short rest and some food & water before starting out again. At a trot, they can go for as long as three hours.

The Kobolds love their dogs and the dogs, though large, live in their homes with them. They are generally gentle, although some Kobold kingdoms do breed War Dogs, which are very wolf like. Riding Dogs are not suited for most battle situations, but they are used for the Messenger Corps.

Kobold Riding Dogs come in white, black and all shades in between.

 

Gnomes Reading Tomes In Their Homes Made Of Domes

 

…would have been longer, but I’ve yet to have my tea

Hey! Stay tuned after the CatCon 4 report for my 600th Doclopedia post!

CatCon4: Day 6 A short entry

Our trip report for Tuesday goes like this…

8 AM: Wake up, eat, hit the road

Abby: Mom and Mary took me on a walk and I got to eat my fill of kudzu.

Winker: Dad gave Lucy and I Dog Rice with Canned Dog Food Gravy. Yummy yum!

Flash: I got a can of sardines. Dad rules!

10 AM: Short stop (15 minutes) at “The House Of Blue Glass”. Small house, but really made entirely of thick slabs of blue glass. The man and wife who live there are more than a little strange. We bought…aw, hell, you know the drill.

Noon: Stop for barbecue and chili because we are in TEXAS, damn it!

Flash: Never feed chili to dogs. Just sayin’.

2:30 PM: After fully securing all pets, especially those named Flash and Lucy, we go watch the 20 minute show at “Big Mel’s Trained Rat Theater”. They show was pretty good and the rats were smart and well trained, but I was too paranoid to really enjoy it after last year’s unfortunate incident at “Uncle Ferdie’s Trained Squirrel Review”.

Flash & Lucy: Even once you’ve paid your debt to society, you are forever branded.

Abby & Winker: You two spent the whole time we were locked down trying to escape so you could “chase us some rats”!

By the way, for those of you interested, it seems that Uncle Ferdie has put his theater and show back together and will reopen in summer of 2012. He has apparently moved the pet waiting room to a large steel building with good security.

Flash & Lucy: Well, that sucks!

4:30 PM: We arrived in Wilted Springs, which has officially changed the town name to Critter City. We checked in at the Hyatt and napped before dinner at “Pizza My Heart” and then a strolled around town, meeting gamers and pets every few yards.

All Critters: We LOVE this place!

And then we slept.

No Music

No Destination Sign

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The Doclopedia #600

A New Breed Of Dog: Giant Basset Hound

Earth 58 is a fantasy based world with plentiful magical energy. On it, the islands that make up Great Britain and Ireland are considerably larger and known as Gargantia, home of the giants. Everything there is about 10 times larger than normal. It is on Gargantia that the humans bred those lovable, but somewhat dangerous dogs known to the rest of the world as Giant Basset hounds.

Their description is simple: just imagine an average 60 pound, 12 to 15 inch tall, 2.5oot long (not including the tail) Basset Hound, then make him ten times as big. You now have a sweet tempered, loving pet that stands at least 10 feet tall, is 25 feet long, weighs about a ton and has ears that are up to 11 feet long and 4 feet wide.

The giant humans use these hounds for hunting and as pets. Like all Basset Hounds, they can run and play or hunt for long hours, but then collapse into a big pile of loose skinned sleepiness for a few more hours. As we said, nothing about these dogs has changed from their smaller relatives.

The danger of these huge hounds comes from them accidentally laying down on a normal sized human…or knocking them over with their big waggy tails…or slobbering on them…or just trying to play with them. The dogs don’t realize how big they are.

Adventure Module K-3: Lair Of The Giant Vole

…compatible with Dungeons & Rodents 4th edition

The Doclopedia #597

A New Breed Of Dog: Japanese Ghost Dog

No, these are not ghostly dogs, but instead are small dogs trained to sense the presence of ghosts and other spirits and then bark to both wake the family and scare the ghosts away.

The average Ghost Dog stands ten inches tall and weighs 20 pounds. Their coats are long and always a mix of white and red. They have upright ears, large bright eyes and an overall foxy appearance, not unlike the Shiba Inu, but with a straight tail. Their bark is very loud for their size.

Ghost Dogs are not lap dogs and don’t sit still for too long at a time. They have good dispositions to most humans and dogs, but they never like cats. Ghost Fogs are very fast on their feet and will chase a fleeing ghost for over a mile. They are very light sleepers

The Japanese used Ghost Dogs when they bred the much larger and more famous Kaiju Hounds that patrol the Japanese coastline.

The Doclopedia #598

A New Breed Of Dog: German Kinderhund

In the mid 1800’s, several enterprising German dog breeders got together to develop a breed of dog that could herd children. No more would parents have to walk their kids to or from school or watch them when they played outside. The dogs would do it for them!

The German Kinderhund was developed using the German Shepherd Dog, the Doberman and the Border Collie. The resulting dog was large, medium coated and very smart. The natural herding instinct of the Shepherd and the Border Collie made them easy to train and the no nonsense attitude of the Doberman made them able to handle even they most hyperactive kid. Kinderhunds work very well as teams and four of them can easily herd 50 kids.

On average, Kinderhunds weigh about 100 pounds and have a lean and muscular body. Their eyes, which are often blue, but can be brown or green, are very intense. You can see the dog thinking in those eyes.

The ears are semi upright and the tail is long and carried straight. Most Kinderhunds stand about 3 feet tall. Coat color is black, brown and white. Both males and females are equally good as herders, although males are usually larger.

When not herding children, Kinderhunds are loving family dogs with an excellent protective instinct. They get along well with most other animals, but tend to get a bit annoyed by little yappy dogs.

The Doclopedia #599

A New Breed Of Dog: California Dog

When His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Norton I assumed rulership of California, Nevada, Arizona and most of Western Mexico in 1836, one of his first Imperial Proclamations was that “the Empire should have as it’s mascot a breed of dog that exemplifies all that is great about it”. Twenty years later (during which time the Empire had expanded to include Oregon, Washington and Idaho), the first California Dog was presented to him.

California dogs are roughly the size and build of a Labrador Retriever, but have a somewhat longer double coat that only comes in a beautiful golden color. This coat can protect them from both cold and heat, due to it’s insulating properties.

Their eyes are likewise golden and their ears are semi upright. They generally weigh between 100 and 130 pounds and are quite intelligent. They are friendly and brave and are used for everything from hunting to guiding the blind. They love children and get along will all other animals.

Killing or abusing any dog in the Empire is an Imperial Offense and will get you 20 years of hard labor. If the dog is a California Dog, the sentence is doubled.

Never Talk Smack To A Water Buffalo

…trust me on this one

 

The Doclopedia #595

A New Breed Of Dog: Martian Greyhound

When humans settled Mars in the early 1980s, they took dogs with them. Over the generations, the humans slowly changed to adapt to the lower gravity and other environmental forces and so did the dogs. One of the best examples of this is the Martian Greyhound. Below is the Breed Description from the Martian Kennel Club as of 2095.

The Martian Greyhound looks like a larger and leaner version of the classic Terran Greyhound to the casual observer, but closer observation will reveal the many adaptations that have been made for life on Mars.”

First among these is the short, but doubled coat that the breed needs for dealing with the cooler Martian climate. This coat can come in white or white and gray. Next you’ll notice the large and thickly padded feet, that aid in running on the often rocky surface that is often still found inside the domes. The nostrils are larger, to allow more air into the lungs. Finally, the breed has larger eyes in order to see better in the dimmer Martian light.”

Martian Greyhounds are friendly and loving dogs who enjoy being around people and generally get along well with other dogs. Their desire to chase is very strong and as such they are often the bane of any cat they see. Their ability to run for miles makes them very popular as bicycling companions”

The Doclopedia #596

A New Breed Of Dog: Greenwood Terrier

Among the Elves of the Greenwood, perhaps the most common breed of dog is the Greenwood Terrier, a breed adapted from various other terriers, but altered by the Elves to suit their needs. The Greenwood Terrier, unlike other terriers, does not hunt animals that live in burrows. It does, however, use it’s natural digging power to hunt various tubers, roots and subsurface fungi that the Elves use for food and medicine.

These terriers generally stand no more than 15 inches tall at the shoulders and seldom weigh more than 40 pounds. They have medium sized upright ears, blue eyes and a long nose. Their front paws are larger than the hind paws and have long heavy nails, all the better for digging. The coat is wiry and runs from light gray to dark brown. The tail is long, thick and carried upright.

Greenwood Terriers are very smart dogs and can easily learn and remember 100 commands. They are very loyal to their families, but a bit standoffish with strangers. Relations with other dogs are cordial most of the time.