Eat More Prunes!

…it’s the American thing to do!


The Doclopedia #1,103

The Alphabet: M is for…


Melvin 4…

…was the final android created by the Mad Scientist known as Doctor Zero (real name: Harold Alan Olmstead). His aim had been to create a killer android that could pass as an ordinary nerd. Melvin 1 had looked the part, but was too aggressive when confronted by bullies. Melvin 2 was much more a wimp, but had a tendency to short out. Melvin 3 was a vast improvement all around, except for the time he blew up while walking across a college campus.

Not to be deterred, Doctor Zero, spent two more years refining and constructing Melvin 4. When he was done, he had an incredibly realistic looking nerd who could pass for human and was also a perfect killing machine. Doctor Zero could now activate his plan to get Melvin 4 into the Science Police headquarters, where the android would then slay everyone who got between it and the Forbidden Science Vault. Soon, using that Forbidden Science, Doctor Zero would rule the world!

Melvin 4 functioned perfectly while at university. In fact, he did so well that Doctor Zero only monitored him once in awhile. Melvin 4 got straight A’s, made some nerdy friends, played Dungeons & Dragons and even got himself a girlfriend. Doctor Zero was unaware of that last bit. He was also unaware of the fact that, the night before graduation, the fully functional Melvin 4 had sex with his girlfriend.


As we all know, having sex for the first time pretty much reprograms you and such was the case for Melvin 4. He really enjoyed sex and women and humans in general. He was feeling very good indeed as he accepted his diploma and went to work at the Science Police. He moved in with his girlfriend, started a new D&D group and got a cat and a dog. Life was good.


On the day that Doctor Zero was supposed to give Melvin 4 the signal to begin his killing spree, the Science Police raided his lair and hauled him off to Science Prison. Melvin Fore, as he was known to the world, got a promotion. The next spring, he and his fiancée got married. Two years later, they adopted a baby.

The Doclopedia #1,104

The Alphabet: N is for…



…is a pixie village located in the Faewood near the confluence of Wikkatti Creek and Singing Stream. About 500 pixies live there and another 500 live within a mile, mostly on small farms or in pixiewood trees. The village is nearly 400 years old and well known for being home to some of the finest singers and dancers in the Faewood. They also brew potent potions for pixies to use on humans when they venture into the Faewood on less than honorable missions. Such potions often create intense fear, hallucinations and incontinence.

On Mid-Summers Day, the residents of Nixiwix hold a large and quite rowdy celebration that culminates in the singing of many Old Songs and the election of a new mayor. The next day, everybody sleeps in late.