Congratulations, Mr. Obama

…you did it

Well dip me in salsa and call me a corn chip, Obama WON!!!!!

And many Republican politicians are soon to be out of a job.

Mr. O, you go kick ass and take names, ok? Do a good job and we’ll all be here for ya in 2012.

Fuck me if I have not lived through some American history.

The Flying Spanaducci Sisters Raise Hell

…and put a jack under it

I’m about halfway drunk here, but I shan’t let that stop me from a bit of political blogging.

So far, my man O is kicking ass on McBush. YAY!
Al Franken is ahead in the Minnesota Senate race.
Apparently, God decided not to vote for Elizabeth Dole.
The Dems are increasing their Senatorial lot.


More later, when I’m REALLY greased.

The Eyeball People Are Waiting For You

…they’re made up of scary eyeballs

A series of short emails from this morning (some names changed for security reasons)

From: Padawangirl
To: Doccross

Good morning, Master Yoda! Don’t forget to vote today!

From: Doccross
To: Padawangirl

Hi! Yes, I’ll be voting when Grace comes home for lunch. How goes it?

From: Padawangirl
To: Doccross

It goes well. The new biz is making money and I’m feeling better than ever. I’ll feel even better once the conservatives get their asses handed to them. I wish I could see my parents faces when Obama wins.

From: Doccross
To: Padawangirl

Hahaha! Yes, I reckon your folks will shit themselves. Glad to here the biz is doing well. And yes, I will also be doing the happy dance when the neocon scum are crushed beneath our heels. Soon, the Evil Empire of Darth Cheney will be a thing of the past.

From: Padawangirl
To: Doccross

LOL Careful, old one, or you might get too excited:-) I have to go now. Appointment with a new client. Take care of yourself and don’t drink too much celebrating.

From: Doccross
To: Padawangirl

Old? Respect you have not, young whippersnapper. Have fun and send me all the details soon. Bye.

Under The Onion Tree

…and other stories

Stuff: The Next Generation

1: Hey, you wacky gamers out there! Dundracon is 108 days away and pre-reg goes up to $40.00 in 4 days. If you are going and haven’t pre-regged, go do it. If you aren’t sure if you are going, just let me say: Have you lost your mind? Of course you should go!

2: One week until the election! One week until no more fucking political ads for at least several months! ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL I CAN LAUGH MANIACALLY AT EVERY REPUBLICAN I MEET!

3: My veggie garden is going along nicely, now that the spinach is cooperating and finally sprouting up. The lettuce (at least 5 varieties) is kicking into high gear and I foresee some yummy baby greens on the dinner table about Saturday.

4: The latest Brewerton Village Poll is now closed. I shall post one more poll in a day or two, then sometime next week I’ll write up our little village here for all to see.

5: Although the new television season has, by and large, failed to excite me, I must say that Heroes is getting more interesting by the episode. Despite that, I sincerely hope the series writers/directors/producers will do things differently next season. and by differently, I mean No More Save The World, No More New Characters, No More Deaths That Don’t Stick and No More Goddamn Time Travelling (and yes, that includes Hiro).

6: As I have stated previously, the odds of my going to GenCon in 2009 are somewhat worse than my winning the lottery. On the other hand, since GenCon 2010 will be the 20th anniversary of my first GenCon, I will be there. Filled with such certainty, and being a fellow renowned for his advance planning (as well as his wildass spur of the moment non-planning), I have been considering some amusing pastimes for myself and my gaming pals that year. More on this as the months roll by.

7: There is no #7, because I’m going to go have a snack.

Blue Goats

…but not clinically depressed goats


1: So, walking meltdown John McCain decided to “suspend” his presidential campaign to rush back to Washington and help stave off our imminent economic collapse. That is, if by “rush” you mean stay in New York long enough to do an interview with Katie Couric and then appear at the Clinton Initiative thing today. Come on, McBush, just fucking admit that you are A: afraid to debate Mr. Obama B: REALLY afraid to have that skank Palin debate Joe Biden C: unable to do two things at once D: melting down.

2: I got the October issue of Alarums & Excursions yesterday and it is issue #397. That means the January issue will be #400. I really need to get a zine into that one.

3: I’ve been watching the new series Fringe and I’m finding it rather boring. It’s like X-Files with a more coherent (and more predictable) conspiracy, much less interesting protagonists (except the crazy scientist dude, who is a hoot) and no cool mutants/supernatural shit. Maybe I’d like it better if I worshipped at the Church of J.J. Abrams, but I don’t. I may or may not watch any more episodes.

4: The bigass 2 hour premiere of Heroes was good, but seemed in many ways like a retread of season 1. I mean, saving the world from destruction is all well and good, but how about just having a good old superhero vs supervillain slugfest for a few episodes? And the time travel thing? Officially over done. Oh, and how about having just one person, good or evil, die and FUCKING STAY DEAD? I will watch this season all the way thru, but unless things get really interesting and fresh, I may nor return for season 4.

They Arrived Just In Time For The Monkfish Festival

…and stayed until after the big Dung Fair

Oy, I haven’t been Mr. post-O-matic lately, have I? Well, here is some new stuff, in the form of Open Letters.

Dear Fall,

I know you’re feeling a bit put out with me, seeing as how in the past I’ve let my bitter hatred of Winter taint our relationship. I’m sorry about that. You’re not all that bad, really. After all, now that you are here, I can grow spinach again, as well as other tasty veggies. I can take Daisy on long walks during the middle of the day without worrying about her suffering from the heat. You start killing off some of my Hated Enemy, the Weeds, and you chase away many bad bugs.

All told, you’re OK, Fall. Pity you can’t just segue straight into Spring.

Best wishes for unseasonable warmth,


Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney,

Just a reminder that I want to see you two impeached, tried and sent to jail for the rest of your miserable fucking lives.

Hoping you get cancer,

A Proud Liberal Veteran

Dear Mr. Obama,

Seeing as how your first debate with McCain is coming up, I just thought I’d give you a few suggestions.

1: Hammer the shit out of him on his past voting record regarding the armed forces and veterans.
2: Keep reminding everyone that he (via his wife’s millions) is a rich elitist out of touch old fart.
3: Try to get him to lose his temper. This would serve the dual purpose of having him do your work for you, plus supplying a comedy goldmine for late night/Comedy Central talk show hosts. Bonus points (and bonus votes) if you can get him mad enough to call you “nigger”, “coon” or “boy”.
4: Have a “slip of the tongue” once or twice and call him “Mr. Bush”.
5: Use his piss poor understanding of the economy to bitchslap him all over that stage.
6: Do everything you can to reinforce the reasons many Republicans won’t be voting for him. Mostly, this should involve praising him for all of those times he’s sided with the Democrats.

Wishing you the best of luck,

One of your supporters

More Bloggage Later

Mexican Jenny Meets The King Of San Diego

…she must have liked him, cos she titty flashed him


1: Dear Senator McCain,
Recently, one of your rightwing nutcase bloggers spoke disparagingly about Dungeons & Dragons and, by extension, all roleplaying gamers. I do not hold you personally responsible for this, since I’m pretty sure you consider it a good day when you can remember how to wipe your own ass. Still, if you could have the young fellow show up at some gaming convention soon, my tribe and myself will gladly shove a large sack of polyhedral dice up his ass.


Doc Cross, Liberal Democrat Gamer

PS: A few hints on your campaign ads…

1: Stop pimping your POW status. the young folks don’t care and the armed forces members (and most of the rest of us) are sick of it.

2: Most Republicans hate you. No, really, your name might as well be Clinton.

3: On ther ads where you or your smear doctors mention Mr. Obama, why not just cut to the chase and say “Pleeeeaaase vote for me, because Barack Obama is a NEGRO!”

4: Never, ever try to be funny again. It makes everyone but you very uncomfortable.

5: Depends are on sale at Target. Just sayin’.