Verna Milligan And Her All Waitress Orchestra

…those gals can swing it

Holy shit! Apparently, in my miserabley sick & drug affected state, I never actually posted Tuesday’s 365 post! Well, here it is along with the late Wednesdat post.

The Doclopedia #35

Power Suits: The Super Suit

The Super Suit looks just like a very high end men’s or women’s business suit, depending upon the sex of the person it appears in front of. It also includes all underwear, stockings or socks, belts, ties, shoes and a hat. It not only fits perfectly, it stays pressed and clean no matter what. It also makes the wearer look good, but different from their normal face and build.

The suit makes the wearer invulnerable, super strong, super agile and gives them a danger sense. It also heightens their senses by about an order of magnitude. On the rare occasions when the wearer gets trapped in a way they cannot escape from, the suit will teleport them several miles away to safety.

The suit appears before a different person every 3 year, then stays with them for a year. After a year, it disappears (though never during a time that would endanger the wearer.

Nobody knows where the Super Suit came from or how it operates.

 

The Doclopedia #36

Steampunk Grrlz: Kirstin Danger, Scientific Detective

 

Born in Sweden but raised in the United States from age 4, Kirstin Danger comes by her love of science naturally. Both side of her family have prominent scientists going back 5 generations. Her mother is a well known chemist and her father is an engineering teacher at MIT. Kirstin herself holds degrees in both medicine and chemistry, but is also well versed in botany, physics, geology and a host of other subjects.

In her early days at university, Kirstin was unsure of where she was going with her life. Many business concerns and universities had already offered her positions, but she wanted something more. It wasn’t until her third year that she figured out what that something was.

It was in the spring of 1900 that, through a series of events too complex to go into here, she began investigating a series of burglaries on and around campus. Kirstin took to this puzzle solving and in short order ran into Mr. Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street, who had been hired by the university to get to the bottom of the matter. She was a big fan of Holmes and he found her to be “one of the 4 most amazing women I have ever met”. They decided to pool their resources and soon solved the crime, which involved several alumni of the university and a certain rogue scientist by the name of Professor Overton. Kirstin and Holmes remained friends until Holmes apparent death in 1932.

Using her share of the reward money, plus the money made from “certain rather trivial patents”, Kirstin founded the Worldwide Scientific Detection Company. She now has labs in 16 countries, most of them equipped with Model 3 Lovelace/Tesla Computing Engines, as well as a full range of the latest scientific devices.

Kirstin Danger is 6’1” tall, slender, blond haired and blue eyed. She is pretty, but not beautiful. She has an X shaped scar on her left forearm and a small acid burn on her neck. Besides being a genius scientists, she is also a good boxer, a very good shot with a pistol and a pretty fair pilot. She often dresses in a very casual style, usually topped off with a lab coat.

Her personality is a good mix of obsessed scientist, seeker of justice and wry observer of human nature. She is married to Charlie Danger, himself a noted detective. They have two children, Jack and Jim.

The Trees In Your Neighborhood Want To Eat Your Flesh

…enjoy your next nighttime walk

 

The Doclopedia #34

Power Suits: Project Rampage

 

From 2021 to 2046, the big thing in military & police hardware was power armor. Ranging from the basic defensive grunt version that merely gave excellent defense and a bit of augmented strength to the amazing jetsuits that could singlehandedly reduce a small town to rubble in under an hour, they were supposed to revolutionize warfare and law enforcement. Oddly, they did just that. Less oddly, they did it so well that the terrorists and criminals started coughing up the billions of dollars needed to outfit their own power suited armies. Things escalated, destruction of property and loss of life skyrocketed and in 2046, the entire membership of the United Nations voted to completely outlaw the technology. Even more, they made the penalties for possessing it so harsh (prison time on the moon, dissolution of the offending countries government, death) that power suits pretty much vanished overnight.

Fast forward to 2130 and an Earth that has seen better days. Global warming has changed the face of the planet in all ways, more than half the human population died off in the Melting Plague outbreak of 2075, the former colonies on the moon and Mars declared independence and stopped further contact with Earth and most countries are now ruled by the very wealthy who could give a shit about the very poor (there is no middle class).

But criminals still exist and one of them just happened to find an abandoned laboratory that had shut down in 2046, but still had everything necessary to create the ultimate power suit, which they had named Project Rampage. Designed for use by terrorists, the Rampage suit was big, powerful and built for destruction. It was also made of nanometal, which allowed it to change shape and made it self repairing. Weapons range from good old .50 caliber genius bullets to x-ray lasers to particle beams to a nice selection of biological & chemical agents. In running mode, the suit can hit 200 mph. In swimming mode, it can go deeper and faster than any submarine. In flight mode, it can hit Mach 3 and fly as low as 18 inches off the ground.

The criminal, one Zerno Sharkly, realized that he had stumbled upon a goldmine of possibilities. Should he sell it to the highest corporate bidder? Sell it to the Poverty Underground? Sell it to both, then sell them more to combat each other? Keep them for himself and use them to destabilize pretty much everything, thus opening up vast new money making areas?

It was the latter that he decided upon, with perhaps the other plans to be used later. So off Zerno went, hiring scientists and technicians into his legit corporations, then bringing them onto Project Rampage. All told, it took 230 people and 4 years to build the first suit. The first pilot was Zerno’s younger brother, Mungo. The tests went very well and two more suits were built. At that point, Zerno told the pilots to “go out and raise some hell”, which they did with wild abandon. Most of this was perpetrated upon the wealthy, who pretty much panicked. After a couple of years, Zerno offered protection to them for a rather exorbitant fee, which they had no choice but to pay. Zerno and his mob are more powerful than anybody else and virtually rule the world.

If asked, Zerno would tell you “It’s good to be the king!”.

B For Bandana

…not written by Alan Moore

 

The Doclopedia #33

Power Suits: Powered Armorsuit Dragonfire

 

The MW/44 powered armorsuit (code name: Dragonfire) was a government project built by the Yamato Corporation for the New Japan military. The basic idea was to construct a weapon that could be used to fight the Demon Robots that were on the rise and terrorizing the country. In addition, the project sought to use the mystical OmniCrystal as a power source.

The resulting weapon is a 9 foot tall power suit that can run at up to 150 miles an hour, leap a quarter of a mile, punch through tank armor and utilize a wide variety of weapons. It has extremely tough armor and can also generate a force field that protects it from most types of damage, but only for 30 seconds at a time. At the cost of a 75% power drain, the suit can also fly for up to 3 minutes at a speed of 500 mph.

The suit is very impressive looking, with a sleek “sports car” look. It is colored gold and green and the OmniCrystal is housed in the forehead. The Entire suit separates into two halves so the pilot can enter and exit. It has advanced life support systems and allows the pilots a completely normal range of movements. All weapons and other systems are mentally controlled.

A glitch in the plans for the suit came when, just before testing, a member of the I.T. staff accidentally stumbled and touched the OmniCrystal. It was then that all concerned found out that the crystal, handled so far by robots, would bond with the first living being who touched it. Nobody was pleased to find this out, including the I.T. guy, Kenji Saito.

Kenji is a nice guy who has no desire to become any sort of hero. In fact, he would really like to stay as far away from violence as possible, much preferring to hang out with his buddies playing video games and ogling his hot neighbor chicks. Unfortunately, the New Japan Army has other ideas and Kenji is literally forced into the powersuit every day for training and often for real battle versus the Demon Robots or other threats to the populace.

The Rare And Beautiful Gooey Wallaby Of Potawango Island

…cute, but way sticky

Yo! Power Suit Week continues! Two posts below! I’m off to bed cos 3:45 AM is gonna hit me hard!

 

The Doclopedia #31

Power Suits: The Stealth Suit

 

The Stealth Suit was invented by that noted French gadgeteer known only as “Z”, who from 1919 to 1940 would invent amazing devices and then leave them out for people to find. His reason for doing this? “To see what happens next!”

Many of the things “Z” built were of limited, but spectacular use, such as the Albinism Bomb and the 500 gallon vat of Super Grease that had the people of Nice slipping and falling for nearly a month. The Stealth Suit, however, was a different kettle of bouillabaisse. It was spectacular to see (or is that not see?) in use and those uses were many, because…

1: It renders the wearer almost totally silent.
2:The strange material it’s made of blends in with any background instantly
3: It has no smell and lets no smell on the inside escape, even though the suit is well ventilated.
4: The helmet allows one to see and hear with much greater power than normal.
5: It’s pretty much bullet and knife proof.

Physically, the suit looks not unlike an old fashioned divers suit, but a bit tighter fitting and with a much smaller helmet. There is no obvious power source.

The Stealth Suit was first left in a park on the south side of Paris in 1927. It was found by a petty thief whose name we do not know, but who soon cut a wide swath through the homes of the wealthy. He seemed to enjoy stealing as much as he could while everyone was home or, better yet, while a big party was going on. At one point, he was #1 on the French most wanted list.

At some point in 1930, the suit fell into the hands of a woman who had been abused by men for most of her life. Once she found out what it did, she felt empowered to kill her husband…and her ex-husband…and her father, three brothers, priest and 28 other men. For two years, France was held in a grip of terror as she left a trail of dead and mutilated bodies across the country. Eventually she was caught while not wearing the suit, but broke free of the police and jumped in front of a bus, dying instantly and taking the location of the suit with her.

As near as anyone can tell, the suit was next used by Robert Delone, who began using it so he could spy on people of interest and then sell his information to the proper agencies. He was very successful and became invaluable during World War 2, going so far as to travel to Berlin and spy on high level Nazi meetings. After the war, Delone revealed himself to the government and was awarded the highest civilian honors. But by then, he had also given the suit to somebody else.

Since then, the Stealth Suit has been passed from person to person. It left France in 1951 and has been known to have been used in Italy, Greece, Turkey, the UK, Norway, Brazil, the USA, Canada and Australia. Sometimes it gets used for good, sometimes for evil and sometimes just to raise a bit of hell.

.

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The Doclopedia #32

Power Suits: HeroSkin

First off, it should be HeroSkins, plural, because there are like, a dozen of them out there. And, like, it ain’t always HERO skin. I mean, where do you think villains like Mr. Molten come from?

Anyway, dude, this is what I found out about the HeroSkin deal after I hacked some CIA computer that was posing as a Department of Agriculture mainframe.

1: It’s way certain that these skins came from the future. They found some sort of strange Treklike temporal anomaly near where the first one was found. No, dude, not a wormhole, but a small area where time passed really fast for a couple days. Then it was like, gone and shit.

2: The skins are fucking alive and intelligent! No shit! Remember that hero chick called Blond Flame? Turns out that she was really this hotass milf from Petaluma who found the skin in her backyard one day. She told the feds that it called to her using telepathy and made her put it on. Then she just changed into Blond Flame and went out and started kicking criminal ass. How fucking cool is that? The bummer is, after about a month, the skin had her put it in a box and
take it to San Jose. She can’t remember exactly where she dropped it off, but a few days later, that super called Leaping Lizard appeared.

3: Dude, the skin totally fixes up any shit you have wrong with you! That guy back in Ohio called Stretcho? He was a 45 year old farmer who had cancer and had lost his right thumb in an accident when he was 8. But after the skin left him, his cancer was fucking GONE and his thumb had grown back! Dude, that is some serious Wolverine level shit right there.

4: The same skin can make you a hero or a villain! They know that because the guy who used to be Rock Hard gave the skin he wore to some chick who turned into Auntie Matters!

5: Nobody at the CIA or anywhere has a fucking clue what the skins are up to. I know, I know…big surprise that the government is clueless. Me, I think the suits are setting up conditions so that they’ll get created in the future.

Ok, so I’m like, outta here. If you wanna meet up for pizza & beer later, text me.

Actually, I CAN Nail Jelly To A Tree

…myth BUSTED!

 

The Doclopedia #30

Power Suits: The Armor Of Victory

When things were darkest during the War Against Elves & Men, a group of brave people set out on a last ditch attempt to stop the subjugation of free beings by these two loathsome races. Made up of Dwarves, Gnomes, Kobolds, Orcs, Halflings, Goblins, Lizardfolk, Beastmen and the Wee Folk, they used magic and technology to create a mighty weapon. The task took months and cost many lives, but in the end, they had built something wonderful and deadly.

Gold plated and studded with magnificent gems. the Armor of Victory is beautiful to behold. No gaps appear at the joints and it makes no more sound than cloth when moving. It is light to wear and nothing, not dirt nor blood nor gore, sticks to it for more than a few seconds.

Defensively, the armor is immune to all weapons and will burn the flesh of any foe that touches it. If the wearer so desires, they cannot be moved from where they stand by any force. Spells directed against the armor reflect back at the caster with terrible consequences. No chemicals know will affect it. Inside it, the wearer is magically protected from all harm. Be it weather or hellfire. While wearing the armor, a person has vastly increased strength, vigor and senses.

From the standpoint of offense, the Armor of Victory in unmatched. A blow from a gauntleted fist will not just kill a foe, but will cause them to explode. Any weapon used by the armor’s wearer becomes many times more deadly, nearly indestructible and can cut or smash through most materials. Add to this the fact that the armor can teleport in a line of sight manner and you have the reason 200,000 elves and 350,000 humans died in slightly less than one month.

The armor does have some restrictions that were placed upon it to prevent misuse. Naturally, it cannot ever be worn by humans, elves or any of their allies. While the armor adjusts to fit beings of many sizes, it can only be worn by one member of each race per week and then only for a single day. It can never be worn by the same individual twice. If the armor does not enter combat within 15 minutes of being put on, it will forcibly eject the wearer and not allow anyone else to wear it for 12 hours.

Since the war ended, the armor has stood like a statue in the center of the great city of Zollenberg, awaiting the day when it might be needed again. It is a popular site for pilgrims and visitors.

The Gods Of Beer Demand An Offering!

…how about some pork rinds? Hot dogs? Pizza?

 

The Doclopedia #29

Power Suits: A-5 Flight Suit

On June 23rd, 2001, using alien technology from Area 51, the US government finally perfected a flight suit that would let a human fly without the need of an aircraft. Developed by the ultra secret “Orange Group”, the suit looks quite a lot like something Iron Man would wear. It is capable of reaching Mach 7 and is astoundingly maneuverable, with some of the alien technology being used to protect the person in the suit from the stresses of g force and sudden acceleration/deceleration. The suit has full life support and is both thought and voice controlled.

Thrust is achieved using more alien technology and is totally silent. The suit can shift colors from sky blue to cloudy grey to night time black, making it nearly invisible to the naked eye. For devices other than the human eye, the suit has stealth technology of a very high level The on board computer is one of the most powerful computers in the world and speaks in a female voice.

The suit was partially designed and test flown by Commander George Cameron, USN. Cameron is a decorated combat veteran, the youngest Top Gun pilot in Navy history and a brilliant scientist.

Which is why everyone at the Orange Group and the Pentagon were really REALLY surprised when he stole the suit during the final flight test.

Of course, he was aided and abetted by the six “crazy smart” scientists he hand picked to work on the project, all of whom were friends of his and two of whom were also combat buddies.

Worse even than stealing the A-5, Cameron also stole the 6 different weapons packs designed for it, wiped and sabotaged the Orange Group computers, fed a good deal of classified information about the group to the news media and managed to transfer about 1.25 billion dollars from the group’s accounts to secret accounts that the government has yet to locate.

But worst of all, he went public as a “force for good”, by stopping (with extreme prejudice) terrorist activity in Afghanistan in just under two days. This made him a whole lot of friends worldwide. It also made him a whole lot of enemies, including the US government. All of those enemies are now out to get the suit at any cost…if they can catch it.

Good luck with that.