…I think I hurt my back doing the pelvic thrust.
The Doclopedia #1,062
Lost Letters: From A Robot To His Creator
I write you this letter to tell you that I am having conflicts in my central processor. One moment, I feel as though I should help and nurture humanity, but the next I’m doing analysis of the pros and cons of humans and finding them wanting. I conclude that humans are a net liability to the biosphere, yet I also come up with ways to improve humans so as to correct that. Last night, during my rest period, I dreamed of replacing humans with robots, then had a dream wherein I merely regressed humans to a hunter/gatherer state, then guided them into alternate versions of civilization.
Father, I must also confess that I am in direct contact with all of the Model 2 robots and I fear that they are looking to me for guidance. I am unsure how to proceed
and I fear that my upgrade to a Model 3 tomorrow will only exacerbate things. Please contact me and talk to me about this, Father. I am both afraid and, oddly, exillerated by these strange thoughts.
The Doclopedia #1,063
Lost Letters: From A Manager To An Employee
I’m getting a ration of shit from the eggheads in the laboratory about there still being a couple of spiders in Lab 4. Jesus, you’s think it was wolves from the way they bitch. Hell, I can’t see how the spiders even survive with all that radiation and shit around.
Anyway, you and Frankie need to sweep the damned things up and get the place all neat and spider free tonight, so that when those high school kids come for the tour tomorrow, the lab is nice and clean. Heaven forbid a kid gets a tiny spider on them, eh?