…and the duck, one Hamlet by name, wins the Grand Prize
Shame on you if you thought “exhibits his duck” was a euphemism. Today, we finally end the Rings & Things theme. I may start a new theme shortly.
The Doclopedia #981
Rings & Things: The Other Ring Genre: Fantasy, Humor
So, we all know the story of how the little hairy footed guy had to go on a long and dangerous trek so he could fling an evil ring into an active volcano and thereby destroy a really evil Dark Lord, right? Hell, they made movies about it.
But did you know there was another ring that looked just like that ring? Well, there was! Oh, sure, it didn’t try to warp your mind or make you evil, but it did other stuff. No, it didn’t make you invisible and make the rest of the world look all strange and it sure as hell didn’t attract powerful undead guys.
No, this ring was made by that Dark Lord’s younger brother, Tom, and it did things like help you find great pancakes and give you nice smelling feet and protect you from stepping in cow patties. It could also cause you to find lost socks and would make your tomatoes grow larger. No undead sought it out, but it did tend to attract songbirds and chipmunks.
For a very long time, this other ring was on the finger of a statue in the town square of a small city that was far north of all that trouble caused by that bad ring. I mean, it was there for a good 500 years, until the statue got hit by lightning and fell over. At that point, the ring came off and rolled into the nearby grass where it was found two years later by a guy named Duffy who put it on and then had a pretty darned good life because he really liked pancakes. After that, it was passed down in his family for 350 more years until it accidentally got dropped into a glass of milk, which destroyed it.
Ok, so not nearly as exciting a story, but I’ll bet that little hairy footed guy would have really like having nice smelling feet.