The Very Pulp Actiony, Yet Also Quite Girly, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Beast Of The Haunted Hills

…co-starring her pet squid, Morris


The Doclopedia #966

Weights & Measures: 22 Gallons Genre: Spy

The pick up truck that Cheong was stealing had an extra large tank that held 22 gallons of fuel. It also had 4 wheel drive, which they would need to get over the mountains to Shengdu. With any luck, the Magistrate would not know the truck was gone for at least three hours.

It was lucky that he was able to coast the truck downhill all the way to the crossroads. At midnight in this sleepy little backwater town, nobody would hear a thing. Even if they did hear something, there was little chance they would peek outside at what might well be secret Party business.

He stopped at the crossroads and helped Uncle Hong and Mr. Shao load the supplies and the hidden weapons into the truck. Next, they loaded up the women and children. He had Grandmother and little Ang sit up front with him, where it was warm. Once everyone was in place, he started up the truck and headed out of town on the North Road, the least likely road for a group of escapees lead by a spy to use. Five minutes later, the nightly rains came, washing away their tracks.

If they made it all the way to the rendezvous south of Shengdu, he would turn the top secret weapons over to his British friend, then get everyone else onto the submarine. After that, he and the Brit would have a drink together before infiltrating the secret base inside Bright Sun Mountain.




The Doclopedia #967

Weights & Measures: 2 Pints Genre: Horror

Well then, Nick, we’ve had our two pints of courage, so let’s be about it. That manor house isn’t getting any less haunted as we sit here. Grab our bags and we’ll start up the hill, that’s a good fellow.

Yes, it’s a beautiful night. Just look at that big full moon. Reminds me of that time in Scotland that we investigated the Ghost of the Scarred Hill. That was a rousing adventure, sure enough. He bloody near had us backed into the loch before we banished him! Right tough old bugger, he was,

Well, there it is, Radley Manor. Wonderful architecture, don’t you think? Pity the place is so soaked in sin, debauchery and evil. Old Squire Radley was as twisted a person as I’ve ever heard of, and his children and grandchildren weren’t much better. Mark my words, Nick, we’ll be earning our fee tonight.

Now, let’s just assemble that Ectoplasm Reducer that Professor Xanthius built for us. By George, if this works as he said, we’ll make short work of the Hell spawned undead in this place!”

Night Of The Living Dude

…woah, dude


1: Yes, Grace and I were indeed lucky to have gotten home from Hawaii a week ahead of the recent earthquake.

2: I found out yesterday that my good buddy, Spike Y Jones, and his lovely wife and daughter, will not be attending GenCon this year. In fact, it may be several years before they get back to GenCon…if ever. They’ll be opting for Origins, instead.

3: In about 48 hours, there will be enough spinach ready in Spinach Bed Z/77 so we can have some for dinner.

4: I got less done this weekend than I should have, but still a fair amount for a lazy old fart like me.

5: I’m really liking “Heroes” and the new “Dr. Who”. Also, “Meerkat Manor” is still some of the best stuff on tv.

6: I upgraded my LJ status to the advert based “Plus” status. This will allow me to Put some Hawaii pics up in the scrapbook feature.

7: I’ve decided that the follow up adventure to “The Adventures of Zora” will be an epic dungeon crawl using modified AD&D second edition rules. I expect the game to start in early March.

8: Fall/Holiday movie season has begun. Soon, Grace and I will see many flicks, including the new James Bond movie.

Oh look, it’s more of “Spy Week”!

The Doclopedia #69

Spies: Secret Alien Man

In May of 1900, a small spacecraft crash landed near Cody, Wyoming. The pilot survived the crash and was able to modify his physical form so that he could pass for human. After destroying his now useless spaceship, he began exploring. Taking the name Gray Allen, he travelled a rather random route, zigzagging across the United States. By early 1902, he arrived in Washington, DC, and arranged a meeting with President Theodore Roosevelt. Soon, he was working for the US intelligence agency. He was soon, and still is, the best agent America has.

Altho Teddy Roosevelt knew of Gray’s non human status, no president since has been let in on the secret. Only the head of the intelligence agency (which, by the way, is NOT the CIA) knows that Gray is an alien.

Gray Allen stands 6 feet tall and has black hair and brownish golden eyes. He is remarkably average looking. When necessary, Gray can use a mental stun on people. He can also survive underwater for up to an hour, as well as exert a calming influence upon both animals and humans via pheremone release.

Gray’s favorite weapon is a .357 Magnum.

Orange Mice, Magenta Dogs, Azure Cats

…colorful, they is

About this character: Here’s a fantasy world spy who knows exactly one spell…but then, she only needs that one spell.

The Doclopedia #68

Spies: Lady Malissa Of Rivervale

Stats (using FUDGE dice)

Body: +1
Mind: +2
Spirit: +2

Malissa is a lady in waiting to Her Highness, Princess Aldora. As such, she travels to various ruling class get togethers with the princess…and that is where she does her spying for King Salazar, the princesses father.

You see, long ago, Malissa learned how to polymorph herself into any number of small animal forms. Generally, she’ll change into a dog or cat, but she has been known to assume the form of a fox, rabbit, chicken or even pig. The amount of intelligence she gathers while in these animal forms is astounding. Few people watch what they are saying around a cat or dog.

Malissa has long dark hair, brown eyes, a nice figure and a very pretty face. Her weapon of choice…when she absolutely must use a weapon…is a rapier.  She’s very skilled with it.

Belgian Waffle Golem

…deadly, yet delicious

First off: Happy Birthday, Robin D. Laws!


About this character: Today, we have a spy who doubles as a hitter

The Doclopedia #67

Spies: Cameron Greene

Stats (using FUDGE dice)

Body: +3
Mind: +2
Spirit: +2

Greene is a former Navy SEAL. He saw action in the first Gulf War, as well as places that the U.S. Government won’t talk about. After 10 years as a SEAL, he was recruited by the CIA and began his career as a spy…and an assassin. He’s very good at both jobs.

Working alternately out of South America and Africa, Greene does only 2 or 3 hits per year. Most of his work involves surveillance of individuals in tremote locatrions.

Cameron Greene is 6’2″ tall, weighs 280 pounds, has short brown hair and green eyes. He has no tattoos or other identifying marks. He uses a wide range of weaponry, some of them quite primitive.

The Daring Adventures Of Doctor Tempest And His Time Travelling Airship

…from the December, 1899 issue

Uncle Doc’s Big Weekend Plans

1: Plant irises and daffodils on the hillside garden.
2: Start the long and arduous process of cleaning out the garage.
3: Help Grace with household chores.
4: Watch some of the 8,000 tv shows we recorded while on vacation.
5: Begin clearing out the Room of Doom.
6: Do a bit of writing.

We’ll see how much I actually get done.

About this character: Here we have your classic spymaster, in the “M” mold.

The Doclopedia #66

Spies: Mr. B

Stats (using FUDGE dice)

Body: +1
Mind: +3
Spirit: +3

Mr. B is a tall, thin fellow. He has thinning brown hair liberally sprinkled with grey. His eyes are an icey blue and he has a 2 inch scar next to his right eye. He has a flat midwestern accent. He usually wears a dark blue suit.

His job requires that Mr. B ride herd on up to a dozen field agents. Aiding him are his personal assistant, Herbert, and several technichians and analysts. Mr. B and his helpers work out of a secret headquarters behind a florist shop in Manhattan. He is a tough, but caring boss and his agents respect him.

Mr. B was once a celebrated field agent himself, before moving up to his present position. His weapon of choice is a .44 Magnum, backed up by a hidden derringer.

Square Snowflakes

…that make square snowballs

Spy Week starts out with a femme fatale

The Doclopedia #65

Spies:  Circe LeBeaux


Circe is a freelancer who works for whoever pays her…and she’s not inexpensive. She uses seduction on men (and some women) whenever she can, but is also very well versed in all of the other tricks of the spy trade. Although she doesn’t like doing wetwork, she will not hesitate to kill anyone that tries to harm or capture her. For the last several years, Circe has specialized in industrial espionage, but recently she has gotten back into the geopolitical side of things.

Circe is a 5’6″ tall woman of mixed ethnicity. She has long black hair, brown eyes, a trim and very fit body and she is drop dead gorgeous. Her weapon of choice is a thin and very sharp dagger.  She speaks a dozen languages, but mainly uses French and English.