The 1982 LARP Disaster, or, How To Avoid The Police In An Abandoned Hospital.

…it seemed like a fun idea at the time
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The Doclopedia #1,536

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Jump Drives

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1: The very first jump drive was invented by the Alaxians 2.75 million years ago. On it’s first use, it jumped a military ship into M’Tin space, which started a war that almost wiped out the Alaxians. It was 75,000 years before another jump drive was invented.

2: There is no such thing as the mythical J-16 Drive. All attempts to jump more than 75 light years at a time have ended with lost ships or explosions.

3: Among humans, only 11% of females and 9% of males can stay awake during a jump without getting sick to their stomachs.

4: While it is possible to shorten the length of time between jumps (18 days for a J-15), it is not recommended due to the risk of “Jump Drift”.

5: Jumping near a very large gravity well is not nearly as dangerous as the public is told.

6: Yes, you can jump through starts and planets, but not black holes.

7: Although JumpMaster Industries sells the most jump drives, the ones from Yoog Company are much longer lasting.

8: The most popular non-military jump drives are J-9 drives.

9: Although many ships do have up to 3 drives, using them in series means that all of them will need recalibration more often.

10: Do not believe the rumors. NOBODY has ever successfully jumped through a wormhole.

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The Doclopedia #1,537

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Non-Human Terrans

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1: On average, they have higher IQs than humans.

2: With the exception of giant tortoises, no reptiles are sapient.

3: While they outnumber us by millions to one, only about a billion are sapient.

4: They have access to technology centuries ahead of ours.

5: They have roughly 3 million humans, whom they call “renfields”, working for them.

6: Their intelligence network is the greatest on earth and they know pretty much all our military & governmental secrets.

7: They actually own several well known multinational companies.

8: The NHT, and our planet, are recognized by the Galactic Counsel as 4^th Class Citizens (on a scale of 5). We humans, with about 10 exceptions, are not recognized. We are considered violent primitives.

9: The Non-Human Terran Alliance frowns on and discourages the extension of lives via cloning, android bodies or revival of the dead. They are in favor of extending lives via genetic manipulation.

10: Dogs make up the largest number of NHT.

Tie Dyed Boobs

…they were colorful and jiggly
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The Doclopedia #1,534

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Doc Tempest

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1: He was not born in May of 1900, but was born in February of 1901.

2: In defiance of social mores of the time, he lived with two women, Jo O’Hara and Rita Diaz, without benefit of marriage to either one.

3: He was a very good, but not great, pilot.

4: He was the first “Doc” Tempest, but the 7^th in his crime fighting line. The rest were either “Captain” or “Doctor” Tempest.

5: He was allergic to uncooked celery.

6: Despite what was reported in the newspapers, his 1935 battle with “The Skymaster” did not result in injuries that kept him sidelined for 6 weeks. He was actually in Germany undercover.

7: Although his headquarters on Alcatraz Island was indeed his main base, he had many of his organizations departments spread out around the Bay Area.

8: It was Doc, not Steve Rogers, who kidnapped Adolph Hitler and brought him to London in January of 1944. He insisted that Rogers, who had assisted him, take the credit, because Doc didn’t want the publicity.

9: After he put his best friend, Sally Smithfield, into suspended animation in 1948, he told his family that he would be retiring in 1950.

10: His disappearance without a trace in 1950, in what seemed to be some sort of interdimensional rift, was faked. He actually assumed an identity he had created years earlier and dropped out of the public eye.

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The Doclopedia #1,535

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Ogres

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1: They have almost no sense of taste, which is why eating disgusting things does not bother them.

2: Their urine is actually a powerful plant fertilizer.

3: They do not team up with orcs or goblins as often as people think, because they tend to find both of those species tasty.

4: The largest ogre ever encountered was named Yurguk. He stood 15 feet tall.

5: Ogres change sex about halfway through their lives, but unless you saw one naked, you’d never know.

6: Cherries are deadly poisonous to ogres.

7: Ogres will never intentionally kill a rabbit.

8: While the vast majority of ogres are incredibly stupid, about 1 in 20,000 has a human normal level of intelligence. They generally go live a solitary life.

9: Ogres can work in groups, but only if the group is from the same area. Ogres from different areas will fight.

10: The rumor that there are “Ice Ogres” in the far north is false.

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Funeral For A Fiend

…not a song by Elton John
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The Doclopedia #1,532

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: The Golden Worm

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1: The Golden Worm is actually only about 18 inched long.

2: It’s made of gold, but also contains silver and copper.

3: The eyes are made of three perfect star sapphires.

4: Contrary to popular belief, the Golden Worm was not discovered in 1889, but in 1876. It was hidden away for 13 years.

5: The legendary “Curse of the Golden Worm” has yet to be fully dismissed.

6: There have been 15 attempts to steal it since it went on display in the National Museum of Australia.

7: Nobody is 100% sure who made it or how it ended up in a temple in Burma.

8: Regardless of the temperature around it, the Golden Worm remains between 72 and 78 degrees, Fahrenheit.

9: Estimated value of the Worm is around 2.5 million dollars, as of 1933.

10: Sometimes, very late at night, the Golden Worm changes it’s position slightly.

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The Doclopedia #1,533

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Rudy Aldorf

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1: He has 9 children by 5 different women, but he’s only been married to two of those women.

2: When he invented the Wonder Jet Pack, he was suffering from Itchy Nose Syndrome.

3: His dog, Baker, is actually a mutant coyote.

4: He set fire to his house twice while inventing the Laser Eye.

5: He is allergic to cantaloupes and raspberries.

6: He retired for 5 years after he invented the Self Cleaning Toilet.

7: He is left footed.

8: His middle name is Oscar.

9: He was born in Idaho, not Colorado as most biographers say.

10: His latest invention is the Self Repairing Computer.

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Ballad Of A Blue Raccoon

…we call him Blue
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The Doclopedia #1,530

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Wazuun

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1: Wazuun is enormous. 500 feet long!

2: Wazuun is a beast of immense glory! All must bow to Wazuun!

3: Wazuun prefers to eat grains and grasses, which his servitors collect for him in large carts.

4: When approaching Wazuun, you must crawl on your belly and beg forgiveness of your sins.

5: Wazuun has lived for 5,000 years. He will live for many thousands more!

6: The Priests of Wazuun are linked to him mentally.

7: Wazuun honors us with his weekly tons of excrement.

8: 367 years ago, Wazuun moved 290 feet to the north. After that, his loyal followers declared war on the Northern Infidels.

9: Wazuun only eats meat when all three moons are full and aligned.

10: To be eaten by Wazuun is the ultimate honor, so stop wailing.

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The Doclopedia #1,531

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Blonde Danger

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1: Blonde Danger is not the first female crimefighter to go by that name. There was a Blonde Danger from around 1925 until 1934.

2: Her car is custom build, but can be quickly modified to look like any number of mid-sized cars.

3: Experts who have studied film and video of her agree that she can react and move much faster than an ordinary person.

4: While her pistols are custom designed, they shoot ordinary 9mm cartridges.

5: Despite what his lawyers got put into the news, she did in fact beat Marco “The Monster” Norell to a bloody pulp on Halloween of 1965.

6: She uses at least one drone disguised as a pigeon to watch the city streets.

7: Black Ace let her escape when he encountered her in New York, just after she had subdued Ella and Frank Townsend, the so-called Firebugs.

8: She has a team of at least 4 people that back her up as she fights crime.

9: Organized crime syndicates have a three million dollar bounty on her.

10: Her secret hideout is 90 feet below Police Headquarters.

Riding Off Into The Setting Suns

…all three of them

 

The Doclopedia #1,044

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Magical Girls

1: All Magical Girls are cute, even the naughty ones.

2: Their familiars can be anything from cats to rabbits to talking dolls to ambulatory shrubs.

3: Magical Girls always dress in the same three color combination, with each Magical Girl having different colors.

4: Magical Girls just love cookies and cute boys.

5: Unless they are REALLY naughty, Magical Girls hate evil things.

6: All Magical Girls wield very powerful magic, but…

7: …not all of them have great control of it.

8: Magical Girls sometimes become dangerously nervous in the presence of really cute boys.

9: Every Magical Girl has a distinct weakness.

10: Magical Girls usually don’t get along well with Science Girls.

The Doclopedia #1,045

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: The Towers Of Mars

1: The tallest rises up 10 kilometers.

2: The shortest rises up 7.5 kilometers.

3: There are 30 of them equally spaced around the Martian equator.

4: The Chinese exploratory mission got halfway up the Shortest tower before contact was lost with them.

5: Every 21 days, all of the towers emit a short burst of static electricity.

6: Although they are all made of the same white material, each one is covered in a different design.

7: Of the 5 missions to explore the towers, only the second US/Canadian team got back alive. All of the rest were lost without recovery.

8: Once a year, all of the towers hum for a full hours. No measurable effect has ever been found before, during or after the humming.

9: The only examples of life on Mars, the black grass ecosystem, are found circling the base of each tower out to 300 meters.

10: It has been found that the towers extend at least 3 kilometers below the Martian surface.

Vote For Ed Fettleminster!

…he’s not an asshole!

 

The Doclopedia #1,040

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Goblins

1: Most goblins have a phobia about cheese

2: Goblins invented the spoon, but it was originally used as a weapon

3: On Fantasy Earth 2, 5, 11 and 31, goblins are the twisted opposite of dwarves

4: Goblins almost never found in deserts or icy regions. They don’t hang out at the beach much, either.

5: On Fantasy Earths 7, 14 and 45, goblins live in huge nomadic groups that ride giant chickens.

6: Divorce is almost unknown among goblins, but inter-marital homicide is very high.

7: Goblin warriors are often used as cannon fodder by ogres, hobgoblins and orcs.

8: After a big successful battle, many ogres, hobgoblins and orcs die of poisoning by goblin warriors.

9: On Fantasy Earth 6, goblins are peaceful and valued members of society.

10: Only 1 goblin in 3,000 can use magic. Oddly, they often end up as kings & queens.

The Doclopedia #1,041

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About…: Captain Steelheart

1: His heart really is made of steel. It was put into him by an old lover, a Tirkonian healer mage, when he was mortally wounded defending her.

2: He is ranked the 6^th most feared pirate on the Circle Sea.

3: His ship, the “Ravager”, is one of the fastest around.

4: He is ambidextrous.

5: His pet monkeycat, Jeef, has roughly the intelligence of a 7 year old child.

6: He sometimes writes adventure fiction under the name “Sir Hanserd Kollop”.

7: Besides a mechanical heart, he also has an enchanted left ear and can hear things said a great distance (up to a mile) away.

8: He hates beets, liver and Mariskan kelp bread.

9: Most of his crew have been with him for nearly 20 years.

10: He likes to collect wine bottles, which he displays at his home on Dragonshark Isle.