…poor choices were made
The Doclopedia #1,814
Ten Things You Did Not Know About: Texas
1: 15% of Texans secretly rage at the fact that they have to eat avocados from California or Mexico.
2: The state never actually won independence from Mexico and has actually been paying that country rent.
3: Until 1952, most Texas armadillos were vicious killers with a venomous bite.
4: If a Texan goes more than a week without consuming chili, country fried steak or Dr. Pepper, they must move to any other state except Oklahoma.
5: Thanks to a concerted effort by it’s citizens, Austin has enough reserves of weird to last 3 years, should the need arise.
6: Every coyote in Texas is a registered Republican.
7: Every roadrunner in Texas is a registered Democrat.
8: Being from California or New York is a minor misdemeanor in Texas.
9: All roads leading into Oklahoma warn drivers that they are abandoning true civilization for a society that puts beans in it’s chili.
10: 10% of the state is still in the 1920’s.
The Doclopedia #1,815
Ten Things You Did Not Know About: Dogs
1: Most dogs understand human languages perfectly. They just think we aren’t very smart.
2: Dogs lick themselves because when they used to hire rats to lick them, humans freaked out.
3: The smartest dog has an IQ that the human scale cannot measure.
4: Canine based teams have won more Crazy Game World Cups than any other species.
5: Humans know Lassie was usually played by a male dog. Dogs know that they were actually trans bitches.
6: Dogs almost never play poker, smoke or drink alcohol.
7: Sooner or later, every dog couple has sex in the “human style” position.
8: The greatest dog minds still cannot figure out why humans keep throwing the fucking ball away.
9: 9 out of 10 dogs agree that cat poop is a gourmet delicacy
10: When human civilization finally collapses back to a Stone Age level, dogs have agreed to be our caretakers when we are rounded up and put on reservations.