The Rare And Beautiful Drunken Red Llama Of Potawango Island

…they get hammered by eating fermented melons

Support this blog on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DocCross

 

The Doclopedia #1,355

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “C”

C is for: Charlie 3

Charlie 3 is main transport bus in Gardener dome. His route is often just around town, but can go out into the farming areas if needed.

Charlie has a polite personality and is a bit of a gossip. There are people who ride him just to hear the latest juicy news. He is also a big fan of both marsball and Terran cricket, and has been known to get into some pretty good arguments.

Charlie 3 is a 32 foot long electric hoverbus. His colors are red and green. When he gets his next physical and AI upgrades, his name will be Charlie 4.

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One Loud Fart Away From Getting Shot

…increase pucker factor to 11!

 

The Doclopedia #1,354

The Alphabet: Gardener Dome, Mars “B”

B is for: Barb Pham

Barb is a technician at the Gardener Dome’s life support plant. Her primary job is running the water purification plant, but she also does a once a week shift at atmosphere storage.

Barb is well known in the dome for biking around with her dog, Dennis. Every weekend they are out and about, often going all the way around the dome’s 30 mile circumference.

Barb is a single, 38 year old woman of Vietnamese/Chinese/Norwegian ancestry. She is a Mars native.

Doc Tempest VS The Master Of Murder

…from the August 1953 issue

Monday Patreon Backer Shoutout!

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If YOU would like to back me on this blog, and maybe even on a podcast, just go here…
https://www.patreon.com/DocCross

 

 

And now, another go ’round at an old Doclopedia theme, The Alphabet

The Doclopedia #1,238

The Alphabet: A is for…

Abonongo…which is the name of the Great Forest Tyrant of the Korakoka Jungle. Although exact descriptions of Abonongo are almost non-existent due to him/her/it killing and eating people, the few reports by survivors agree that he/she/it is at least 40 feet tall, covered in greenish blue hair and has a wide mouth full of very long and sharp teeth. Abonongo is bipedal and has anywhere from 4 to 6 long clawed fingers on each hand. It’s hard to count when you are running and screaming

Abonongo can sleep for as long as 5 years, but the longer he sleeps, the more he eats upon awakening. As a result, the indigenous people of the Korakoka Jungle are among the fastest runners on their planet.

 

 

The Doclopedia #1,239

The Alphabet: A is for…


Atrimus the Avenger…On Earth 3-B, during the Napoleonic Wars, a masked man caused no end of trouble for the French, doing everything from kidnapping French officers to blowing things up to, in 1809, successfully diverting an entire supply train into the hands of the Spanish. 1810, there was a fifty thousand franc bounty on Atrimus. Napoleon’s hatred of him knew no bounds, something the British took advantage of by leaving posters of “Little Boney” getting taunted by Atrimus wherever they could.

At first, Napoleon was convinced that Atrimus was British, but over time realized that he could be any of a dozen nationalities. Identification was made even more difficult by the fact that Atrimus almost never spoke and was seldom seen close up. However, by 1812, just a month before Napoleon invaded Russia, evidence was found that proved that Atrimus was French. Napoleon went berserk, ordering his forces back in France to start rounding up anyone they might think knew who Atrimus was and start questioning them. Three days later, a series of bombs went off along the French Main column, killing dozens and injuring hundreds. Such attacks happened all during the Russian campaign.

When Napoleon returned to Paris, he was greeted by his officers, who told him they had not found Atrimus, but knew he was in Spain the night before. This proved to be false when, less than an hour later, Napoleon Bonaparte and 27 other men were blown to pieces by a series of blasts that leveled the building they were in. At the same time in a dozen other places, military officers of the higher ranks were blown up or shot by snipers. The reign of Napoleon ended much sooner than in our world. Atrimus the Avenger was never heard from again.

For nearly 120 years, the world wondered who Atrimus was. The favorite theory was that “he” was actually a small group of men acting together. But in 1930 a small wooden box was left at the headquarters of the Surete. The box was sealed with Napoleon’s own seal and experts agreed it had been put there around the time of his death. Carved into the top of the box was an ornate “A”. When it was opened, it was found to contain several items that Atrimus was known to have stolen. Along with these was a letter that read.

“To whom it may concern,

By now we are long dead, as are our children and, perhaps, our grandchildren. If you seek the true identity of Atrimus the Avenger, seek it not among the rich, not among the military and certainly not among men. Seek it among women who grew tired of husbands, brothers, lovers and sons going off to war to die. Seek it among the very last group Napoleon would think of.

But do not hope to learn our true names. Those died the day Atrimus was born.

Vive la France!”

Teaching Betty To Bop

…wop a loo bop!

 

The Doclopedia #1,114

The Alphabet: X is for…

Xorolxee…

…is an earth-like planet located 300 light years from Earth. It orbits a yellow star slightly (2% larger) than our own and is the fourth planet in a system of 10. Like Earth, it has a large moon and plenty of water (65% of the planetary surface). Xorolxee is about 10% larger than Earth.

Xorolxee is a warmer world than ours and teams with life of all sorts. The 4 large continents each have very distinct species that inhabit everything from polar icecaps to steaming jungles to enormous deserts. It is a mystery to scientists that most of the land based lifeforms on Xorolxee are smaller than a small cow. There are no land based lifeforms larger than a water buffalo. The oceans are another matter, because there you will find several lifeforms that could swallow a blue whale in one gulp.

Xorolxee has no sentient lifeforms. There are some indications that civilization existed once, but these await further exploration to prove that.

The Doclopedia #1,115

The Alphabet: Y is for…

Yark…

…or, as the gnomes refer to him, Yark the Most Dangerous. This is a fitting name for the most accident prone gnome inventor of all time. In his short 40 year life, Yark was responsible for the destruction of a gnomish town (mechanical wheat harvester malfunctioned), a war (clockwork soldiers went berserk), a volcanic eruption (mechanical “mole” could not be controlled) and the sinking of an entire island (sonic ditch digger overloaded). Those are just a few of his many screw ups.

Yark was finally killed by one of his inventions (a magical powered mechanical fruit picker) on a summer day in 1409. Gnomes and other intelligent races celebrated his demise.

 

The Doclopedia #1,116

The Alphabet: Z is for…

Zally Z. Zmith…

…chose to spell her name that way just to be different. When she turned 18, she had it legally changed to that spelling. She then went on to live a pretty bohemian lifestyle for the next 22 years.

On her 40th birthday, the alien Zigzz invaded earth. They made Zally their Queen because she was the only human with a proper sounding name.

 

Zally was a benevolent and beloved Queen of All Earth for the next 65 years.

Don’t Be A Duck!

…wait, what?

 

(Note: This is my first Doclopedia entry for a famous living person. Thank goodness for satire laws. Please don’t kill me, Wil.)

The Doclopedia #1,113

The Alphabet: W is for…

Wil Wheaton…

…in our universe, is an actor, writer and champion of all things geeky. His motto, well known to his millions of followers on social media, is “Don’t be a dick”.

But in other realities, Will Wheaton is quite a different guy.

There are three dimensions where Wil Wheaton is a super powered fighter for good and justice. One of these versions was given a “super soldier” treatment during WWII. Another was bitten by a radioactive spider. The third is actually an alien from a long dead world.

In no less than 5 magic based realities, Wil is a dungeon delving adventurer. Two of these are sword swinging barbarians, two are crafty thieves and the fifth is a wizard of moderate power who carries a crossbow because “sometimes you run out of mana and monsters are total dicks”.

There are realities where Mr. Wheaton is a starship crewman or even the captain of the vessel. In one of these, he has pointy ears and is highly logical. In another, he has a lumpy forehead and loves to drink prune juice, which he calls “a warriors drink”. Maybe warriors have trouble with regularity.

There is a world where Wil is a zombie, but a smart one who still likes geek culture. Once you get past the way he smells and tries to eat your brain, he’s a darned nice guy.

On CatEarth, Wil Wheaton is a shorthaired tabby cat who in all other respects is just like our Wil, except he sheds and brews his own fermented milk instead of beer.

Finally, there are 14 realities where Wil Wheaton is, in fact, a dick. These range from him just being a snotty young actor to one where he is a rampaging robot to a couple of dimensions where he rules the world with an iron fist. There are rumors of a reality where he is a 300 foot tall kaiju, but nobody has ever come back from there to prove it. 

The Totally Goofy, Yet Still Very Romantic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Tweenage Superhero

…co-starring her pet duck, Malcom

 

The Doclopedia #1,112

The Alphabet: V is for…

 

Vien Vong

 

…is a town on the western shore of Lake Vong, the fourth largest lake in the Nimyang Empire. Indeed, “vien” means “place by” in the Nimyac language. It is an important stopover for both travelers on the Haon River, which both feeds and drains the lake, and those who travel overland from Nimkoro (the imperial capital) to cities in the east.

The population of Vien Vong is roughly 25,000, but it fluctuates depending upon the season, various festivals and the odd flooding of the Haon River. About half of the residents are ethnic Nimyang, with most of the rest being Dhange and Hootevi, who were the main people conqured by the Nimyang 300 years ago.

Besides being a busy port town, Vien Vong is the hub of both the spice trade and salt mining in the nearby Cha’a Hills. Tons of both substances move through Vien Vong every year. Trade in the skins of the great dragonsnakes is also economically important.

Vien Vong has a secret from the Nimyang: it is the center of the Dark Raiders, a group that has been opposing the empire for almost 200 years. Secret training schools teach young men & women of Dhange and Hootevi blood the skills they need to be assassins, thieves and spies. If the Nimyang ever found this out, they would wipe Vien Vong off the map.

Doc Tempest VS The Princess Of Death

…from the December, 1955 issue

 

The Doclopedia #1,110

The Alphabet: T is for…

 

Trout Pudding…

…(with or without herring sauce) has been a very popular dessert dish on CatEarth for over 300 years. Basically a vanilla pudding with finely chopped raw trout and a mix of small rodent parts, most humans would find it revolting, but most dogs would scarf it right down.

There are countless variations of Trout Pudding, with most families changing the recipe as they see fit. One of the more popular variations adds very tiny live frogs. Another calls for various insects to be sprinkled on top just before serving.

The Doclopedia #1,111

The Alphabet: U is for…

Uxonger & Sons…

…are the premiere booksellers of Adelaide, Australia. Their store is huge, roughly the size of an American Wal Mart, and packed with books, magazines, maps, photographs, pamphlets, comic books and newspapers. In addition to the main store, they also maintain two warehouses a few miles away. These are just as packed as the store is.

Alfred Uxonger prides himself on the fact that not only does his store have rare books found nowhere else, but everything in the store is listed by subject to a minute degree of detail. If you need a book on albino Red Tailed Hawks found in the Fresno, California, area between the years 1923-1933, it will be prominently listed on the shelf. Fortunately, Mr. Uxonger has a very up to date listing of every book in the story, cross referenced in about 100 ways or more. Naturally, book buyers are crazy about this.

Once in a while, you can find a book, etc, that does not come from the same reality that Uxonger & Sons inhabits. These books can range from amusing (Jeeves and the Batman) to very strange (An Anatomists Illustrated Book Of Trolls) to world changing (Do It Yourself Fusion Power). Bibliophiles often spend weeks searching for one of these strange texts.

Uxonger & Sons are open from 8:00 am until 10:00 pm Sunday through Saturday and from 8:00 am until midnight Friday & Saturday.