I Said “Living Dead”, Not “Living Bread”!

…now I’ve got to shotgun that loaf of rye

Goddammit, I swear that in 2012 I’ll get back to a regular posting schedule here. In the mean time, a few tidbits before I roll out the first of several new Doclopedia posts.

1: It looks very much like I’ll be running two official games at Dundracon this year. I’m not planning on running any more than that, but if the Call of Open Gaming is strong enough, I may run a third game. If you are thinking about going to Dundracon (and you should be), look me up.

2: Everybody here is healthy, chronic ailments nonwithstanding.

3: While going through old writing files, I found the outline and many notes for a new Toon book. I’m of two minds about doing any more Toon stuff, but the 30th anniversary is coming up in 2014, so…

4: I’m still mulling over what Doclopedia stuff to put into a book and how best to do it.

And now, the latest entry…

The Doclopedia #389

Look What I Found!: 1950’s Science Fiction Edition

Professor Sanders, come have a look at this! I was examining those weasels we exposed to the gamma rays after treatment with that new hormone formula and darned if they aren’t 25% larger than they were yesterday! What? Why, yes, they are aggressive, but after all, they’re weasels. Probably a good thing we keep them in separate cages. Yes, their food consumption has gone up quite a bit.

You can see, of course, where this might lead. Why, if we could increase the size of cattle or pigs or chickens, we could end world hunger. Just think of it, a world where…what? Oh, yes, it is getting late. We’d better close up and get out of here. Jane will have my hide if I come home late for dinner again. We’ll just give these weasels a double helping of food and, what the heck, a couple of these mice each. That should hold them until tomorrow.

Yes, we will need larger cages for them. I’ll leave a note for Joe and Eddie to bring some up from the basement and transfer the weasels into them when they come in to clean up tonight. Shouldn’t take them more than a half hour to do it.

My, that one male is a nasty fellow, isn’t he? Well, we’ll sedate him tomorrow for his examination. I wonder if his testosterone levels have gone up due to the radiation? Oh well, that’s a thought for later. See you in the morning, Professor. Give my best to your wife and kids.

Orange Parrots Playing In The Trees

…squawk!

Enhanced cross-postings from Facebook

Just submitted my game proposal for DunDraCon. It’s titled “Kill The Wabbit!” It’ll be all about hilarious homicide in February, kids!

Man, these hounds of mine are some watermelon loving girls! They are scarfing it down as fast as I can slice pieces off for them. Winker has had at least 8 pieces about the size of a dog biscuit, while Lucy has had about 6 that were even larger. Well, at least it’s healthy for them.

Of Crawdads, Rain And Battling Bovines

…and exploding elevators

So, I got home from Dundracon today around 3:30 pm. We left the con around noon, being tired, sore and in my case, nearly voiceless.

Despite leaving 2.5 hours later than normal, Arn and I made excellent time and got to the con at about 6 pm on Friday. I managed to get into a Creeks & Crawdads game titled “The Starfish Are…What?”. It was a CoC riff on the whole crawdad experience, with Lolcats and bucketless walruses subbing for Lovecraftian horrors. It was great fun, especially since everyone remembered to play their crawdads as stupid/hungry/sleepy, which pretty much sums up a crawdads life. We did manage to invent a new Crawdad Philosophy of Life: “Food Lies!”. And then we fell asleep and forgot it.

Saturday night, I ran my 20th anniversary TOON game for 14 players. It was big fun and full of much mayhem, including the big fight between Clarice and Berniece Cow in an elevator full of toxic and flammable insect spray. There was an explosion:)

After the game, a bunch of us sat around talking about games for a while, until I started riffing on…stupid things men and boys do…stupid things women do…why I’m surprised mothers don’t kill their kids at some point…snoring…farting…dogs & cats…why men are like dogs…camping and many other subjects. There was much laughter.

All I bought at the con was about $5.00 worth of dice and a copy of Creeks & Crawdads for $4.00. Oh, damn you, shitty economy!

I did other stuff…talk to folks…watch anime…go to a seminar…etc, etc, etc.

So, anyway, next year, I’ll be running Dungeons & Toons…or maybe Toon Munchkin…in my usual Friday night 8 pm time slot.

And now, I’m gonna eat & sleep.

What Happens In Ravenloft Stays In Ravenloft

…usually because it’s dead

Preview of my Dundracon Toon game

Ok, we left of last time with…

Frank “The Cat Slapper” Rigatoni…who is a much feared legbreaker for Da Mob. Frank is big, strong, tough talking and terrified of monsters, ghosts, aliens, etc. He keeps his fears secret from everyone, including his still much feared 4th grade teacher…

Mrs. Wangdoodle…who put fear and loathing into the hearts of countless kids during her teaching years. She is retired now, and after Frank because he is the only kid to ever successfully steal his squirtgun back from her desk drawer. She means to get that squirtgun back, one way or another. She may or may not get help in her mission from her granddaughter…

Mostly Purple Patty…who is one of the most adventurous and fearless 10 year old girls in the world. Patty loves monster hunting, ghostbusting and other dangerous stuff. Luckily, she is always accompanied on adventures by her favorite pet…

Ace, The Wonder Yak…who is totally devoted to Patty. He is also pretty devoted to eating pastry and drinking lemonade. Fortunately, he will be able to find plenty of both being served to him by…

The Kreep Family…Reggie, Loona, Auntie Madder and Little Stanley (among others). This would be because almost all the action in this adventure takes place on Swamp Island, site of the hopefully soon to be famous Kreep Family Resort & Spa.

So there you have it, amigos y amigas, most, if not all of the characters in my Toon game. I hope to see some of y’all at the con next weekend. The rest of you will have to wait for the con report on here or in the pages of A&E.

And no, I’m off to bed.

Junior Muskrat Goes On A Zeppelin Ride

…and it’s not a Led one, either

Preview of my Dundracon Toon game

Well, a preview of some of the characters I’ll be providing for the 10-12 players.

Clarice Cow…is totally insane. She is obssessed with finding a boyfriend, regardless of his being interested in her. This year, she also has a twin sister, Berniece, whom she hates. Formerly, Clarice was advised by her Hannibal Lecterish imaginary friend…

Mr. Eyeball…who is now a real PC, instead of an imaginary NPC only Clarice could see and hear. Still, he can turn invisible at will, so few other characters will see him. One notable exception is…

Robot DeNiro…who is a very conflicted fellow indeed. See, Robot has several conflicting Prime Directives. First, he is programmed to identify “dangerous aliens, monsters and strange stuff”. Alas, there is no programming to tell him what to DO once he identifies them. Then there is his basic programming to keep things clean and tidy. Finally, he must protect and serve as a gentlemans gentleman to…

Professor Amos Wandering…who is obssessed with investigating strange stuff, including aliens and monsters. The Professor is completely oblivious to anything dangerous, which keeps Robot DeNiro busy. The Professor has an assistant named…

Berniece Cow…and she is smart, friendly, efficient and filled with a burning hatred for her sister, Clarice. She also tends to ignore danger and thinks Robot DeNiro “worries too much”. In her spare time, Berniece likes to steal valuable jewelry, which is why she is being shadowed by…

Spade Marlowe, P.I.…who is your typical tough talking world weary private investigator. Spade plays the sap for nobody. Unfortunately, Spade is not the smartest guy on the block. Still, he’s WAY smarter than…

Ted and Ned Noodleman…two would be ladies men who are as dumb as a bag full of doorknobs. And egotistical. And vain. And easily confused. And they owe money to…

Frank “The Cat Slapper” Rigatoni…who is a much feared legbreaker for Da Mob. Frank is big, strong, tough talking and terrified of monsters, ghosts, aliens, etc. He keeps his fears secret from everyone, including his still much feared 4th grade teacher…

To Be Continued…

An Elasmosaurus In The Bathtub

…it’s a really big bathtub

Damn…too many empty days on this LJ so far. Kinda strapped for time right now, but I can do a…

Doc Update

1: We are all doing ok here. Winker has become a bit more of an attention hound, but that’s ok, cos we have lots of love for her.

2: Gotta do a zine for A&E #401 this week. It will contain content not found on this LJ, so you can either subscribe to A&E or wait about a month for the content to pop up on here.

3: We are going through our annual “warm and sunny January” days here in the Big Tomato. This Natures attempt to instill a false sense of hope in gardeners, because soon will come the pounding rain and cold and winters last assault. Me, I’ll wait another month or two before doing any real gardening.

4: Unless I get hit by a comet, I’ll have my annual Subject Line review up by Friday.

5: Working on the PC and NPC characters for the Dundracon Toon game, as well as assorted Stuff and what might loosely be termed a “plot”. Lots of old favorites from past games will show up, plus a couple of new loony toons.

6: Made DocBurgers for dinner last night. They were almost too damned good to eat, but we ate them anyway.

7: Time for lunch, then work. More bloggage later.

The Ten Blue Budgies Put On A Musical Show

…in an old barn and starring Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney

My Dundracon Toon Game

I’m officially scheduled for my 20th annual toon game at Dundracon. Here is the info from the wensite…

414 20th Anniversary TOON Bash

Saturday 8 PM in Room 156 for 4 hours
GM: Doc Cross
Type: RPG
System: TOON
Edition: Deluxe
Players: 10
Provided: All characters provided by GM
Power Level: varied
Variations: Oh, yeah, you betcha
Rules Knowledge: Useful
Game Content: Mainstream

Twenty years of running TOON games at Dundracon? You betcha! If you’ve ever played in one of my games, come play or just say hi. If you’ve ever WANTED to play, come on by and try your luck. If you just want to watch, that’s ok too.

Note: This game session may or may not include cream pies, Nazi Hegehogs, frying pans, explosives, the Kreep Family, Superduperbowl style football, Clarice the Cow and her imaginary friend Mr. Eyeball, the Army of Neat & Tidy Robots, Foogle Birds, clams with guns, monsters of all sorts, CarToon Wars autodueling, Great Catchoolu, one or more members of the Schwemp Family, Robot DeNiro, swineosaurs, aliens, huge balls of goo, the Black Hole Model 3000 Shop Vac, fire, donuts, Altoon Brownie and other Foodie Network stars, firearms of all sorts, Squidzilla, bears, fluffy bunnies, Uncle Spud, sticky stuff, dungeons, moose, The Toonimator, toon fu, grease, giant aunts, mummies, daddies, the insidious Doctor FuFu Manchew, carnivorous plants, carnivorous pants, dangerously insane penguins, wet cement, Small Round Paisley Things That Go Poing, gazebos, Duck Cross, portable holes, giant battle meks, Steve Jackalope, fish, bad French accents and mud.

I hope some of y’all can show up and play in the game or even just watch. It should be lots of fun.