Dances With Ducks

…hey, there weren’t any wolves around, ok?


The Doclopedia #1,034

For A Good Time, Call…: Fang Lee

Good evening, gentlemen. Please allow Min to take your coats. A chill night out, isn’t it? Please, have some brandy and take a seat.

Now, I believe you were looking for some cutting edge devices to help you stop that ring of Prussian saboteurs, were you not? Yes, yes, nasty fellows, those.

Here you see my son wearing what I like to call a “battle suit”. Made from the finest steel and several secret alloys, there is no bullet that can penetrate it. In addition, it grants the wearer great strength and protection from noxious gasses. The small steam engine on the back is fully protected and will power the suit for up to two hours. Oh, and you can run at up to 10 kilometers per hour using the suits special pressure blast boots.

This next item should interest you, Sir Gerald. It’s a fully automatic rifle, firing up to 60 rounds a minute! Best of all, it’s quite light and easy to conceal. That? Oh, I call it a “clip”. It makes loading 60 rounds as easy a thing as you can imagine. Allow me to demonstrate. See? Completely easy and fast! Oh yes, I could get you four of them and, say, two clips each.

Mr. Braithwaite, I believe you’ll find our next item right up your street. This is a self propelled bicycle that uses a small steam engine to hit speeds of up to 70 kilometers per hour. As you can see, the seat is well padded, the headlamp is powered by a unique chemical reaction and the tyres are quite wide and thick, giving excellent grip on our often wet roads. Oh yes, those are called “shock absorbers”, an invention of mine. They make speeding down a cobblestone street feel as smooth as a train ride through the country.

So, gentlemen, shall we turn to the subjects of delivery and payment?