…along with several drunken monkeys
The Doclopedia #1,083
Wait…What?: Polly Pond
Intrepid girl reporter Polly Pond covers the superhero beat for the Daily Times newspaper. When a city destroying battle breaks out, she’s there with her best pal and photographer, Pam Chu, to get the story. If there’s an interview with a superhero or villain to be had, Polly gets it. Oh sure, she’s been kidnapped a few times, but she always gets rescued and she always gets the story.
There are rumors that Polly has sometimes slept with heroes, villains and sidekicks to get the juicy gossip, but nobody has proven anything yet. That doesn’t mean the rumors aren’t true, just that there isn’t enough proof. Many of her reporter rivals would love to get the goods on her, but her demonic servant puts a stop to that.
Polly lives in a fashionable apartment on the Upper East side of town. She shares it with her cat, George and her cockatoo, Baby.
…and part time insurance adjuster
The Doclopedia #1,083
Wait…What?: Bobby Bunny
Appearing in Weener Brothers Cartoons, Bobby Bunny is one of the craziest residents of the Wacky Woods. He is always up to something with his pals Goober Goose and Melvin Mink. His antics often cause plenty of property damage and embarrassing situations for old grumps like Farmer Fertinberger, Sheriff Porkly and J. Wolverton Wolf. Many of Bobby’s adventures revolve around his attempts to get rich quick or steal some tasty food. Kids around the world just love these cartoons.
Bobby has a girlfriend, Honey O’Hare and a dog named Roy. In many cartoons, they are the ones that save Bobby from getting thrown in jail, beaten up or having his incredibly large penis cut off. The cartoons usually end with Bobby singing some sort of happy song with his pals as the old grump he’s been tormenting gets blown up or otherwise injured.
…this message brought to you by the American Fleem Producers
The Doclopedia #1,082
Wait…What?: Herr Muller
Oh, how we all loved Herr Muller! He was the kindest man in town, always giving out candy to children and helping the elderly and taking in injured animals. He was a pillar of the community.
It was Herr Muller, Manfred to his many friends, who helped raise money for the new hospital wing. He also gave the town the land for a new park and playground. He always said that it was up to each of us to do everything we could to help others.
Many of the women in town tried to lure Herr Muller into marriage, but he never married. It was said this was because he had lost the great love of his life during the war. He never had children, but used to say that all of the children of the town were “his kids”.
He lived in a nice house down near the river. It had wonderful gardens that he encouraged people to visit. At night, he would sometimes sing at the tavern or play cards with the other men or attend plays or concerts. Other nights, he would just stroll about or stay at home to feast upon the well rotted flesh of vagrants before a night of watching television. He enjoyed American detective shows.
In 1975, Manfred Muller moved away to spend his old age living in the south of France, after the tragic fire that burned his house to the ground. As he wished, the town turned his property into another park.
…regular type fish only!
The Doclopedia #615
Wait…What?: Dixie The Dog
Dixie is the pet of the Selwin family of Hobart, Tasmania. She is a medium sized dog of indeterminate breed, with long brown fur and a big waggy tail. The Selwins adopted her when she just showed up on their doorstep on day five years ago. She is a very friendly dog and loves the four Selwin kids and their other dog, Max, a yellow lab. Dixie and Max spend most of the day playing in the yard just waiting for the kids to get home from school. At night, they sleep on their dog beds in the living room.
Dixie is a very good hunting dog, mostly because once she gets out of human sight, she can resume her natural form as a Tasmanian Tiger. Max, also a good hunting dog, does not seem to mind this.
…but you can always trust a chubby redhead
The Doclopedia #612
Wait…What?: Little Annie Oliver
Little Annie Oliver was an American child movie star of the 1930’s. She began her acting career in 1931 at the age of 3 in the short film “Talented Tots” and within a year began starring in the “Sweetie Pie” series of films. In these films, she played Sweetie Pie, a cute and talented little girls who always helped solve the big problems with singing, dancing and love. Some of the films in the series are “Sweetie Pie On The Farm”, Sweetie Pie In The Army”, “Princess Sweetie Pie” and “Detective Sweetie Pie”. At the age of 7, she won a special Academy Award. She was hailed the world over as “America’s Little Cutie”. Then, at the age of 12, the alien spider eggs that had been laid in her brain years before hatched and the world was plunged into a living hell.
The Doclopedia #613
Wait…What?: Akbar al Batar
Akbar is a poor 26 year old cab driver in Cairo. He works for his uncle, a man who has never parted with a coin he did not have to. Akbar dreams of someday leaving Egypt for the United States, where his cousin owns a thriving automobile repair shop in Jersey City. Akbar’s wife, Jina, works part time as a hairdresser. The couple has no children due to their love of eating them. They do have 2 cats. On their one day off each week, they enjoy watching American movies, shopping in the market and visiting local playgrounds.
The Doclopedia #614
Wait…What?: Yirox The Incredible
If there is a more versatile Wizard than Yirox in the Known Lands, we have never heard of them. This young (a mere 200 years old!) wizard, has learned more types of magic than many Wizards twice her age. She attributes this to her amazing natural memory and at least 12 hours of intense studying on most days. This has given her knowledge of such spells as “Petrify Dragon”, “Open Demonic Portal”, “Cause Genital Explosion”, “Mindblank” and “Rain of Deadly Flowers”. Yirox is in great demand with adventuring teams who want to go into the deadliest dungeons. She is a 5’4” tall human with black hair, green eyes and dark skin. She lives in the Red Castle.