Not In This Issue: Raspberries, Albino Bats or Coffee Cake Recipes

…but there might be a tart recipe.

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The Doclopedia #1,331

News Of The Multiverse: Weather

Alice Springs, Australia, Earth 16-C: Nuclear tornadoes are expected to hit this town early on Thursday morning. While smaller and less intense that in previous years, it is expected that there might be as many as 16 of them. Few, if any are expected to go above F-2. Residents are advised to stay in the Deep Shelter until the storms are past and de-radiation has been done.

Blois, France, Earth 214-A: The Centre region of France will be experiencing blistering heat, snowstorms, driving rain and dense fog for the next week. This comes after an official in the regional government insulted the supervillain known as Le Maître de la Météo (The Weather Master) on television over the weekend. Appeals to the weather controlling villain fell upon deaf ears as he told the press that he would not be insulted by any pig of a politician. A large portion of the region’s population has already begun leaving the area.

Wichita, Kansas, Earth 3-J: The forcast for this week is snow. Lots of snow. Just like last week, last month, last year and the last four goddamn decades. We are nearly half a century into a new ice age caused by 100 years of global climate change, folks. This isn’t going away anytime soon. Be glad we were able to move underground. Jesus, I hate my job. Fucking snow.

Doc Tempest And The White Horror From The Sky

…from the December 2009 issue

Well, we got a light touch of snow last night…some of which is still on the ground…and the local tv channels are all covering the hell outta this terrible blizzard:) Lots of pics and video of yards and cars with as much as a half inch of snow on them. Many remote reporters showing some snow falling that melts as soon as it hits the ground.

See, this is how nuts we Central Valley folks go when we only get snow on the ground every 15-20 years.

Oh, and I do have some pics of what snow is left on my yard and car. Will post them later.

Frozen Dog Poop Bombs

…right there in my yard

It’s 31 fuckin’ degrees outside just now! To you folks from the less civilized world (or the high Sierras here in California), that might seem like a balmy day, but to us here in the Big Tomato, it’s too damned cold. I’m hoping my spinach survives the freeze. Daisy was none to thrilled about being taken out into the freezing cold to pee, so she accomplished her mission in record time before streaking back into her warm bed. Meanwhile, before I leave for my dentist appointment, I need to pick up and dispose of the titular doggie land mines.

And before y’all start calling me a cold weather wimp (which I am), I’ll just tell ya that we will no doubt see a few even colder days hereabouts before the sane weather returns.