The Horticultural Whore Set Sail For The Spanish Main

…on his ship, “The Cruel Cuttlefish”

Yarr, ye salty sons o’ sea lions! Today be Talk Like A Pirate Day and I been tryin’ me best ta get First Mate Daisy an’ Bosun Winker inta the spirit. They’s a couple of ol’ seadogs, dontcha know. Earlier t’day, when we was all rovin’ about the garden, lookin’ fer weeds ta cut and fat Spanish merchant ships ta loot, th’ two o’ them was barkin’ like pirates at the scurvy French sissydog what went walkin’ by wit’ ‘is mistress…a fine and buxom young Spanish lass, if I do say so meself. And I do, ya lot o’ codfish kissin’ deck scrubbers!

Anyways, I put in 3 hours sailin’ the weedy waves, wit’ time out ta tend to me neighbors terrier buccaneers. Then it were inside fer me so’s I could eat me some grub and parlay wit’ th’ Dread Pirate Grace, Queen O’ The Seven Seas on trh’ tellyphone.

Well, boil me fer a crab if’n it ain’t time to shove off fer more horticultural hijinx. Fair sailin’, maties, and keep a weather eye out fer other pirates…or Republicans, as the case may be.